Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

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Maintaining personal healthcare is essential to
live
Verb problem
apply
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a
person
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's daily
lives
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life
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. We move using our muscles, joints, bones, and cardiovascular organs in order to do a human's everyday tasks. An active lifestyle is a must for nurturing the vitality of these body parts.
Therefore
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, I affirm the notion that youths in educational
insitution
Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
must have at least three physical exercise sessions in their weekly schedules. Being an active
person
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can give many benefits to a
person
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's lifestyle. Four areas that can gain opportunities
of
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for
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growth from
an active habits
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active habits
an active habit
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are physical
health
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, mental stability, financial independence, and spiritual calmness. Physical
health
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, obviously will get many good sides through our effort in being active. By making strength exercise a routine, one's heart rate and respiratory
health
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can be improved significantly. It
also
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can help both women and men to lose weight and achieve their body goals.
Thus
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, making them more confident, which leads to better mental
health
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as well. Speaking of mental
health
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, doing sports can
also
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prevent brain disorders
such
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as depression and anxiety.
This
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is
due to
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the regulations in hormones
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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done after a physical activity. So, it is extremely crucial to prevent medical illness. Other than emotional stability, cognitive function
also
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contributes to
this
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discursion
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discussion
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. Physical activities can make blood run in the vessels that
gives
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give
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oxygen to the brain and make them process information in better clarity. In terms of financial issues, being active can
also
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help certain people to save money.
This
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can be done by frequently taking public transport and walking to places to attend,
instead
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of riding a personal vehicle or commercial
taxis
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taxi
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. Movements like
this
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also
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have great impacts towards the environment as it reduces carbon emission. Making a snowball effect
Change preposition
on
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to
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on
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human
health
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,
as well as
Linking Words
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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ecology. Spiritual aspects can
also
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lurk into
this
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topic because of its philosophy that one servant must
also
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be a strong, reliable, and healthy
person
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to worship God.
For instance
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,
muslims
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Muslims
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can not fast properly if they are sick.
As a result
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, people with an Islamic religion must keep each one's
health
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in check in order to pray properly. All in all, an active habit is a
must have
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must-have
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in every human being's life. People were made to move and utilize body parts.
Therefore
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, each
person
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must design a plan to run a better life.
Submitted by namanyazafa on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates directly to the question prompt. Consider developing your paragraphs with more direct examples and consistently linking them back to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
While there is a noticeable logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, connectives and discourse markers could be used more effectively to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
A broader range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of sports and health would enrich the essay. Be mindful of using specific terminology where appropriate.
grammatical range and accuracy
Grammatical range is adequate, but there is room for improvement by varying complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Pay close attention to tense consistency throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Mandatory
  • Physical activity
  • Mental well-being
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Peer interaction
  • Motivation
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Health curriculum
  • Fitness culture
  • Academic performance
  • Compulsory participation
  • Incentivizing
  • Physical education
  • Overall well-being
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