Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?
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Maintaining personal healthcare is essential to
live
a Verb problem
apply
person
's daily lives
. We move using our muscles, joints, bones, and cardiovascular organs in order to do a human's everyday tasks. An active lifestyle is a must for nurturing the vitality of these body parts. Fix the agreement mistake
life
Therefore
, I affirm the notion that youths in educational insitution
must have at least three physical exercise sessions in their weekly schedules.
Being an active Correct your spelling
institution
institutions
person
can give many benefits to a person
's lifestyle. Four areas that can gain opportunities of
growth from Change preposition
for
an active habits
are physical Correct the article-noun agreement
active habits
an active habit
health
, mental stability, financial independence, and spiritual calmness.
Physical health
, obviously will get many good sides through our effort in being active. By making strength exercise a routine, one's heart rate and respiratory health
can be improved significantly. It also
can help both women and men to lose weight and achieve their body goals. Thus
, making them more confident, which leads to better mental health
as well.
Speaking of mental health
, doing sports can also
prevent brain disorders such
as depression and anxiety. This
is due to
the regulations in hormones that
is
done after a physical activity. So, it is extremely crucial to prevent medical illness. Other than emotional stability, cognitive function Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
contributes to this
discursion
. Physical activities can make blood run in the vessels that Correct your spelling
discussion
gives
oxygen to the brain and make them process information in better clarity.
In terms of financial issues, being active can Correct subject-verb agreement
give
also
help certain people to save money. This
can be done by frequently taking public transport and walking to places to attend, instead
of riding a personal vehicle or commercial taxis
. Movements like Fix the agreement mistake
taxi
this
also
have great impacts towards the environment as it reduces carbon emission. Making a snowball effect Change preposition
on
to
human Change preposition
on
health
, as well as
Correct article usage
apply
the
ecology.
Spiritual aspects can Correct article usage
apply
also
lurk into this
topic because of its philosophy that one servant must also
be a strong, reliable, and healthy person
to worship God. For instance
, muslims
can not fast properly if they are sick. Change the capitalization
Muslims
As a result
, people with an Islamic religion must keep each one's health
in check in order to pray properly.
All in all, an active habit is a must have
in every human being's life. People were made to move and utilize body parts. Add a hyphen
must-have
Therefore
, each person
must design a plan to run a better life.Submitted by namanyazafa on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates directly to the question prompt. Consider developing your paragraphs with more direct examples and consistently linking them back to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
While there is a noticeable logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, connectives and discourse markers could be used more effectively to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
A broader range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of sports and health would enrich the essay. Be mindful of using specific terminology where appropriate.
grammatical range and accuracy
Grammatical range is adequate, but there is room for improvement by varying complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Pay close attention to tense consistency throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example