Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

#effects #health #lifestyle #university #students #school #children #sports #activities #times #week

Maintaining personal healthcare is essential to

live

Verb problem

apply

show examples

person

's daily

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

. We move using our muscles, joints, bones, and cardiovascular organs in order to do a human's everyday tasks. An active lifestyle is a must for nurturing the vitality of these body parts.

Therefore

, I affirm the notion that youths in educational

insitution

Correct your spelling

institution

institutions

must have at least three physical exercise sessions in their weekly schedules. Being an active

person

can give many benefits to a

person

's lifestyle. Four areas that can gain opportunities

Change preposition

for

show examples

growth from

an active habits

Correct the article-noun agreement

active habits

an active habit

show examples

are physical

health

, mental stability, financial independence, and spiritual calmness. Physical

health

, obviously will get many good sides through our effort in being active. By making strength exercise a routine, one's heart rate and respiratory

health

can be improved significantly. It

also

can help both women and men to lose weight and achieve their body goals.

Thus

, making them more confident, which leads to better mental

health

as well. Speaking of mental

health

, doing sports can

also

prevent brain disorders

such

as depression and anxiety.

This

due to

the regulations in hormones

that

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

done after a physical activity. So, it is extremely crucial to prevent medical illness. Other than emotional stability, cognitive function

also

contributes to

this

discursion

Correct your spelling

discussion

show examples

. Physical activities can make blood run in the vessels that

gives

Correct subject-verb agreement

give

show examples

oxygen to the brain and make them process information in better clarity. In terms of financial issues, being active can

also

help certain people to save money.

This

can be done by frequently taking public transport and walking to places to attend,

instead

of riding a personal vehicle or commercial

taxis

Fix the agreement mistake

taxi

show examples

. Movements like

this

also

have great impacts towards the environment as it reduces carbon emission. Making a snowball effect

Change preposition

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

human

health

as well as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ecology. Spiritual aspects can

also

lurk into

this

topic because of its philosophy that one servant must

also

be a strong, reliable, and healthy

person

to worship God.

For instance

muslims

Change the capitalization

Muslims

show examples

can not fast properly if they are sick.

As a result

, people with an Islamic religion must keep each one's

health

in check in order to pray properly. All in all, an active habit is a

must have

Add a hyphen

must-have

show examples

in every human being's life. People were made to move and utilize body parts.

Therefore

, each

person

must design a plan to run a better life.

Submitted by namanyazafa on Thu Nov 16 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates directly to the question prompt. Consider developing your paragraphs with more direct examples and consistently linking them back to the prompt.

coherence and cohesion

While there is a noticeable logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, connectives and discourse markers could be used more effectively to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

lexical resource

A broader range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of sports and health would enrich the essay. Be mindful of using specific terminology where appropriate.

grammatical range and accuracy

Grammatical range is adequate, but there is room for improvement by varying complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement. Pay close attention to tense consistency throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

392 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Mandatory
Physical activity
Mental well-being
Cardiovascular health
Peer interaction
Motivation
Extracurricular activities
Health curriculum
Fitness culture
Academic performance
Compulsory participation
Incentivizing
Physical education
Overall well-being

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Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people said that only talented children can become successful musicians or athletes. However, some people believe that children can be taught to succeed in music or sports. Discuss both sides.

many people say that we have developed into a throw away culture because we are filing up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we can't fully dispose of . to what extent do u agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem.

Private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, the automobile has become a status symbol. Yet the use of private motor vehicles has contributed to some of today’s most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicles be reduced?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?