IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following graphs show money spent on retaurant meals and home cooking and the number of meals per year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where revelent.

The following graphs show money spent on retaurant meals and home cooking and the number of meals per year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where revelent.
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The pie chart and the line graph reveal the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 budget spent on
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
, home cooking and the number of
meals
Use synonyms
 per year. The data is calibrated in
percentage
Use synonyms
. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, a dramatic increase is observed in the number of
meals
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
 eat at
restaurants
Use synonyms
. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the family's
food
Use synonyms
 budget spent on
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 steadily climbed. Just 10
percent
Use synonyms
 of the
food
Use synonyms
 budget was spent on
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 in 1970, and 15
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1980. That
percentage
Use synonyms
 more than doubled in 1990, to 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and rose again in 2000 to 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Stating
further
Linking Words
, In 1970,
families
Use synonyms
 ate the same number of
meals
Use synonyms
 at fast
food
Use synonyms
 and sit-down
restaurants
Use synonyms
. In 1980,
families
Use synonyms
 ate slightly more frequently at sit-down
restaurants
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, since 1990,
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
Use synonyms
restaurants
Use synonyms
serve
Wrong verb form
have served
show examples
 more
meals
Use synonyms
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 than
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sit-down
restaurants
Use synonyms
. In 2000 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of fast
food
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 reached the pinnacle at almost 90%
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 for sitdown
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 was approximately half.
Overall
Linking Words
, fast
food
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 and
sitdown
Correct your spelling
sit-down
show examples
restaurant
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
 eventually started at the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 but within 30 years, fast
food
Use synonyms
meals
Use synonyms
'
percentage
Use synonyms
 surpassed its counterpart's to reach the pinnacle.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, food, restaurant, meals, families, restaurants, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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