IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

1.Some people think that governments should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Government)

#people #governments #money #science #subjects #country #progress #government
In
this
 contemporary era, society is more exposed to stress than ever before.
While
 several reasons are causing the problem, it is necessary that health measures are taken and society's lost mental health be retained. The following essay will discuss the roots of
this
 problem and
also
 introduce some approaches to tackle it.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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task response
The essay does not address the set topic regarding government investment in teaching science, so it fails to meet the task requirements. A clear understanding of the subject matter is essential. Ensure that you address the given topic and provide arguments specifically related to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
With coherence and cohesion, the essay must have a clear logical structure that directly relates to the topic. Introduction and conclusion should frame the key points that correspond to the stated prompt. Paragraphing needs to be clearer with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea.
lexical resource
As the provided content does not match the given topic, lexical resources could not be properly assessed. Vocabulary should be varied and topic-specific. Consider using precise language that demonstrates a wide range and accurate usage.
grammatical range
Although the essay provided does not fit the given topic, grammatical range and accuracy could not be effectively evaluated. It is crucial to use a mix of simple and complex grammatical structures accurately and be particularly cautious with subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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