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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #units #electricity #production #fuel #source #australia #france #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie charts provide information as to what fuels were used as a source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 electricity production in Australia and
France
 in 1980 and 2000. In general,
both
 countries have generally the same fuel production in
both
 1980 and 2000.
Furthermore
, coal was prevalent in Australia in
both
 years
while
 in
France
, it was of notably lesser significance. In 1980, sources were used remarkably evenly in Australia with coal taking up exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the chart.
Moreover
, coal usage went up by 2000, having 130 in 2000.
France
on the other hand
utilzied
Correct your spelling
utilised
utilized
 nuclear power more extensively which took up about
three fourths
Add a hyphen
three-fourths
show examples
 of the chart in 2000.
Additionally
, coal, which represented little over a quarter of the chart in 1980 in
France
, was overshadowed by Nuclear Power despite staying the same. Natural gas went down significantly in
both
 countries in 2000, having
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
 2 units.
Overall
,
while
both
 countries were equivalent in terms of
overall
 usage, materials varied considerably.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words france, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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