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Band 4

This drawing guides you through the steps for making freeze-dried coffee from start to finish. This is a linear process.

#guides #steps #coffee #process
The diagram,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrates in great detail, demonstrates a depiction of the different steps that need to be followed in order to produce freeze-dried coffee.
Furthermore
, it is of high relevance to mention
this
 is a linear process.
Overall
, the depiction is quite specific, evidencing the different phases in the making of a determined item, which starts with the manufacturing of the product in its simpler state to the final result. Undoubtedly,
this
 is not a cyclic system.
Firstly
, the coffee beans are collected from their natural location to be dried by labourers.
Secondly
, these small crops are roasted and later ground to be mixed with hot water.
Thirdly
,
this
 mentioned mixture is exposed to low temperatures in order to be crushed. Fourthly, the beverage is introduced in a vacuum to be dried and
consequently
, it can be packaged into different jars.
Finally
, the product is ready for human consumption.
To sum up
, the illustration shows the different stages involved in the making of freeze-dried coffee.
Nevertheless
,
although
 the process looks straightforward, it is complex.
Submitted by inesmonterolavilla on

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task achievement
Your essay fails to adequately detail the freeze-dried coffee process mentioned in the task. While you have outlined the general stages, there is a lack of specific examples and detailed explanation that fully demonstrates your understanding of the process.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks coherent logical structure and clear linkage between ideas. Your writing would benefit from more purposeful paragraphing and the use of cohesive devices to guide the reader through the stages of the process.
introduction/conclusion
To improve your score, ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and effectively summarize your understanding of the process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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