Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports while others think people should ha e freedom to do anysports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #government #ban #sports #e #freedom #anysports #activity

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Some concerned parties

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

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that there should be

ristriction

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restrictions

restriction

on some dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

agrue

Correct your spelling

argue

agree

that people should have their own choice to play any game whichever they like.

This

Linking Words

essay will

discusses

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discuss

show examples

both views and give my own opinion. Talking about

sports

Use synonyms

, they play

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show examples

vital role in every person's life from childhood to adulthood.

Number

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A number

The number

show examples

of students in their school days choose some

sports

Use synonyms

as their profession by playing different types of games and ending up

coosing

Correct your spelling

choosing

one as their passion. They pursue

this

Linking Words

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

and try to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

their dream through their

choseen

Correct your spelling

chosen

games. These

Linking Words

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

choices intrinsic them to more

concentate

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concentrated

concentrate

and

passonate

Correct your spelling

passionate

about

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show examples

their future rather than wasting their time

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show examples

clueless aims.

Moreover

Linking Words

, folks can learn various skills number of

sports

Use synonyms

and become physically fit.

Therefore

Linking Words

, having

chance

Add an article

the chance

a chance

show examples

to play various

sports

Use synonyms

can build

they

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

physical

fit

Replace the word

fitness

show examples

and help them to be specific about what they like or not. On the other side, some activities are harmful for students like bullfighting, mountain racing, motorbike stunting,

rally

Correct word choice

and rally

show examples

racing which can take

people

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people's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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. they are harmful

for

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show examples

both physical

as well as

Linking Words

mental health.

For instance

Linking Words

last

Linking Words

year in Japan more than

dozen

Correct article usage

a dozen

show examples

of participants and

auidence

Correct your spelling

audience

died during rally racing

due to

Linking Words

rough

Correct article usage

a rough

show examples

stunt

Change preposition

show examples

racer

Correct article usage

a racer

show examples

Thus

Linking Words

, higher

authorites

Correct your spelling

authorities

should implement some

restriction

Fix the agreement mistake

restrictions

show examples

on some

life threatening

Add a hyphen

life-threatening

show examples

activities.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that youngsters should have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to do any activity alongside some rules and

regulation

Fix the agreement mistake

regulations

show examples

to follow.

However

Linking Words

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

have all their

rightd

Correct your spelling

rights

right

to avoid worse

incident

Fix the agreement mistake

incidents

show examples

to happen

Change preposition

from happening

show examples

by playing rough

sports

Use synonyms

Submitted by sehajpreetself11 on Fri Nov 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The essay adequately introduces both viewpoints and provides a conclusion but lacks a clear, individual opinion. It is recommended to state your position more explicitly, ensuring that it is relevant throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The logical flow of the essay is somewhat disrupted by grammatical errors and misspellings. To improve, focus on proofreading and use transition words to enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.

lexical resource

There are numerous spelling mistakes ('belive,' 'ristriction,' 'agrue,' 'passonate,' etc.) and grammatical errors which hinder the clarity and precision of your message. Aim for a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of vocabulary to enhance your essay's quality.

grammatical range

Grammatical range is limited due to recurring errors. Practice using complex sentence structures correctly, ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms. Avoid overusing simple sentences and incorporate a mix of complex grammatical constructions to improve your score.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ban
dangerous sports
freedom of choice
public health concerns
social and economic costs
personal freedom
responsibility
regulations
safety measures
effective governance
assessing risks
guidelines
personal freedom
educate
informed decision-making
middle ground
public safety
strict regulations
alternatives

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Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports while others think people should ha e freedom to do anysports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some are of the opinion that people are naturally born as good leaders while others feel that leadership skills can be learned. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Young people who commit serious crimes such as robbery or violent attacks should be punished in the same way as aduls who commit the same crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you or disagree and agree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.