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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below gives information on the percentage of british people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The bar chart below gives information on the percentage of british people giving money to charity by age range for the years 1990 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The bar chart illustrates the details of British
people
 who provide money to
charity
 by
age
 in the years between 1990 to 2010 in percentage.
Overall
, the majority of
charity
 is given by the middle-aged group
while
 the minimum percentage of help is provided by the teenage group
people
 in both years. In 1990, the lowest percentage of help was given by the 18-25
age
 group which was around 18%
while
 the highest
amount
 of
people
 between
ages
Correct article usage
the ages
show examples
 of 36 to 50 provided about 45%.
However
, a significant
amount
 is given from
age
 groups 51-65 and 65 plus around 35% and 32% respectively.
Whereas
, very lowest
amount
 recorded in the year 2010 around 5% from teenage
people
 but other community
charity
 was much higher than them. From
age
 51 to 65 individuals lend almost 40% to
charity
 which is highest
this
 year and the remaining middle and elder persons are given the same
amount
 approximately 35%
while
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 between 26 to 35 given about 32% in the same year.
Submitted by n_wara11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, charity, age, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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