Scientists believe that in order to protect the environment, people must use less energy in their daily lives. However, most people have not changed the way they live. Why do you think many people have not taken individual action? What could be done to encourage them to take action?
According to
scientists, individuals have to use less energy daily in order to protect their habitat. However
, the majority of people
have not changed the way they live. In this
essay, I will discuss the most significant reasons for this
issue by mentioning some examples.
Nowadays, most people
are very busy with their lives focusing on their problems, which causes the situation that they do not even think about what is happening in the environment. For instance
, most people
work at least 6 to 8 hours a day, which is why in their free time
they just rest and spend time
with their families. Moreover
, those people
do not have enough time
to go
search for the right information about environmental issues and consider what they can do about it.
Another critical point is that it would be helpful if the government would pay more attention to Verb problem
apply
this
issue and educate society about this
. To elaborate more, society is likely to put more action if people
become more environmentally conscious. For example
, most men and women will not find accurate data themselves as a result
of not reliable sources, which is why it is so crucial to raise people
's awareness.
In conclusion, I am convinced that many people
will do a lot more to protect the environment if the government educates society more about the new controversial problems. Although
, Correct word choice
However
this
education should be in
Change preposition
apply
an
optimized way because of the little leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
of
Change preposition
apply
people
.
Add a missing verb
have.
Submitted by davoodabadimelika on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction includes a clear thesis statement outlining the main points to be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that provide concrete examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to establish a strong logical flow.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that each question is answered comprehensively with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
Aim for a more developed conclusion that reinforces your position and summarizes the main points provided in the essay.
task achievement
Incorporate a more detailed analysis and a variety of perspectives to enrich the content and depth of your response.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples by illustrating how the proposed solutions could be implemented in practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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