Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

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There are elective

subjects

Use synonyms

as other focus studies

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

straight-forward

subjects

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

some university students argue to explore other

courses

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

to their main

courses

Use synonyms

, I side with those who feel that it is more crucial to dedicate all

time

Use synonyms

and effort to

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

for a requirement. On the one hand, it could be argued that it is beneficial to take other interesting

subjects

Use synonyms

as much as they can.

To begin

Linking Words

with, advocates of

this

Linking Words

view claim that the additional course might be a refreshing class, meaning they include it as their subject because they

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

it fascinating and could decrease their stress in the middle of core

subjects

Use synonyms

. To illustrate, a student has to

study

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the natural sciences,

such

Linking Words

as chemistry, biology, and physics, but at the same

time

Use synonyms

she is passionate

Change preposition

about

show examples

art like a design class and decides to join its session,

thus

Linking Words

they might enjoy their daily life regarding the balance of

study

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and hobby.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the side

subjects

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definitely could expand their knowledge. Some pupils usually explore other new things as a completion of their main

courses

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, with many

subjects

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taken, the students are required to

be organized

Wrong verb form

organise

show examples

as many as their chosen schedules.

Consequently

Linking Words

, they tend to be more disciplined people.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I side with those who believe that saving

time

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and energy

for

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show examples

only learning the core course offers two great benefits.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it could make the learners

study

Use synonyms

their compulsory lessons intensively. They would have more

time

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to dive into the main subject and maximize their understanding, which may result in a good score. They tend to prioritize quality over quantity.

Secondly

Linking Words

, they would not be overwhelmed

with

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show examples

the tight schedule of classes.

For instance

Linking Words

, they might have more space to relax

along with

Linking Words

reviewing their materials leisurely.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they can focus on their important lessons forwardly because they know their priority. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

studying core

along with

Linking Words

elective

courses

Use synonyms

might be pleasant and train them to be more organized, they could not be intense

Change preposition

show examples

the qualification

study

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and might be more stressful.

Therefore

Linking Words

, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of focusing on only the main subject should be applied.

Submitted by hwidyadana on Fri Nov 17 2023

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task achievement

While there is a clear position throughout the essay, a deeper exploration and more detailed development of ideas is needed for a higher score.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and boost your Task Achievement score.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

To score higher on Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are clearly and logically organized, with each comprising a central idea that is thoroughly supported and linked to the overall topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Your opinion

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (eg cost, environment). Discuss both view and give your own opinion.