Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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There are elective
subjects
as other focus studies
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
straight-forward
subjects
.
While
some university students argue to explore other
courses
in addition
to their main
courses
, I side with those who feel that it is more crucial to dedicate all
time
and effort to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
for a requirement. On the one hand, it could be argued that it is beneficial to take other interesting
subjects
as much as they can.
To begin
with, advocates of
this
view claim that the additional course might be a refreshing class, meaning they include it as their subject because they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
it fascinating and could decrease their stress in the middle of core
subjects
. To illustrate, a student has to
study
in
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apply
show examples
the natural sciences,
such
as chemistry, biology, and physics, but at the same
time
she is passionate
in
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about
show examples
art like a design class and decides to join its session,
thus
they might enjoy their daily life regarding the balance of
study
and hobby.
Furthermore
, the side
subjects
definitely could expand their knowledge. Some pupils usually explore other new things as a completion of their main
courses
.
Therefore
, with many
subjects
taken, the students are required to
be organized
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
as many as their chosen schedules.
Consequently
, they tend to be more disciplined people.
On the other hand
, I side with those who believe that saving
time
and energy
for
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by
show examples
only learning the core course offers two great benefits.
Firstly
, it could make the learners
study
their compulsory lessons intensively. They would have more
time
to dive into the main subject and maximize their understanding, which may result in a good score. They tend to prioritize quality over quantity.
Secondly
, they would not be overwhelmed
with
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by
show examples
the tight schedule of classes.
For instance
, they might have more space to relax
along with
reviewing their materials leisurely.
Moreover
, they can focus on their important lessons forwardly because they know their priority. In conclusion,
although
studying core
along with
elective
courses
might be pleasant and train them to be more organized, they could not be intense
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the qualification
study
and might be more stressful.
Therefore
, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of focusing on only the main subject should be applied.
Submitted by hwidyadana on

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task achievement
While there is a clear position throughout the essay, a deeper exploration and more detailed development of ideas is needed for a higher score.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and detailed examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and boost your Task Achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To score higher on Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that paragraphs are clearly and logically organized, with each comprising a central idea that is thoroughly supported and linked to the overall topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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