Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s age, it is a common belief that politicians ought to construct more and
expanded
Wrong verb form
expand
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expressways to decrease overcrowding.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that constructing railways and metro stations is the better solution to avoid
traffic
jams or lengthy journeys. The following essay will go through both viewpoints. On the one hand, there are two primary reasons why the government pays attention to widening highways. The first reason is that nowadays the residents tend to prefer using private vehicles more than public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
As a result
, building more and wider roads is able to help the citizens move and deliver easily without
traffic
jams or accidents during the rush hour.
Moreover
, there are no more negative effects
by
Change preposition
of
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cars or trucks in
traffic
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people will not waste time waiting for the end of
traffic
congestion,
consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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job performance will become more efficient.
For example
, In India, transit problems are increasing day by day because of road obstacles. The politicians extended the route in 2016. Six months ago, it
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
estimated that a 65% death reduction has been noticed by transit security as wider roads give more space to vehicles during uncertain moments. Another reason is that the expanded route
also
makes the public do exercises or the children ride a bike to school safer and more convenient, the village roads and alleys become wider and cleaner.
On the other hand
, I take into consideration that building train and
subways
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subway
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lines is an effective action to improve transit conditions.
Initially
, by using more train tracks, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
of people transported by private vehicles on the street will be decreased,
thus
, it can overcome the problems of
traffic
congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
show examples
.
Furthermore
, not everyone has a car
due to
its high cost so it will be the best choice for them,
which
Correct word choice
if
show examples
they can afford.
Secondly
, underground systems will reduce carbon footprint and conurbations all suffer from emissions by fossil-fueled cars. In general, it is much better for the environment and air pollution or global warming will be reduced.
For instance
, city dwellers in Beijing are now promoted by tax incentives to take underground, helping ease
the
Correct article usage
apply
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traffic
emissions. In conclusion,
while
it is apparent that road construction may affect the
overall
city’s
traffic
problems, it is undeniable that building railways and metro systems
plays
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play
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a crucial role in reducing
traffic
congestion.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your essay includes these components, the transition between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and discourse markers to help your ideas flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has one main idea supported by relevant explanations and examples.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. The essay discusses both views, but it could more explicitly state and develop your own opinion throughout rather than only at the end.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support each point you make, which will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay has a clear and direct thesis statement to guide the reader and establish the focus of your writing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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