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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of people in Europe who were affected by four types of noise by day and by night in cities and rural areas in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the number of people in Europe who were affected by four types of noise by day and by night in cities and rural areas in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #people #europe #four #noise #night #cities #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graphs illustrate how many Europeans in both rural and urban sites were influenced by four separate kinds of
noise
Use synonyms
, namely traffic, train, aircraft and industry during day and
night
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graphs that traffic had the highest records
while
Linking Words
 the opposite applied to those of industry.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was more
noise
Use synonyms
 generated
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the day than at
night
Use synonyms
. In detail, there were 64
million
Use synonyms
 citizens suffering from
Use synonyms
noise
Add an article
the noise
show examples
 of traffic,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compared to 34 of
that
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in the rural. The record for
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 in the cities was 54
units
Use synonyms
, just 2
million
Use synonyms
 higher than in the countryside. When the sun went down, it can be seen a gap of 24
units
Use synonyms
 between two data of transportation in urban and rural areas, at 48 and 24, respectively. A tiny space of 2
units
Use synonyms
 exists between the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of dwellers
bore
Wrong verb form
boring
show examples
 the
noise
Use synonyms
 from
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 in cities and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
, at 8 and 6
units
Use synonyms
, in that order. It is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that in aircraft, the figure for the cities was continuously higher than that of the rural, at 4
million
Use synonyms
 and 2
million
Use synonyms
. Both the former and latter had 1
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
 enduring
this
Linking Words
noise
Use synonyms
 at
night
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly, when it comes to
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 in the countryside, no cases were bothered
while
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just 1
million
Use synonyms
 and one quarter of it being disturbed by
this
Linking Words
 type of
noise
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
 and at
night
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words noise, night, million, units with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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