IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Big salary is much more important than a job satisfaction .Do you agree or disagree ? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
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If
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It
show examples
 is often argued that
if
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it
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 is more advantageous to choose a
job
Use synonyms
 with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 wage, even if it doesn't appeal to you
atall
Correct your spelling
at all
.I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is much more important than
salary
Use synonyms
. First of all,I believe that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 gives people a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 that no money can guarantee. Even
ifsomeone
Correct your spelling
if someone
 is earning a high
salary
Use synonyms
, but feels tensed and compromises with his conscience,
this
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 person won't enjoy
hislife
Correct your spelling
his life
.
While
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 pursuing one's interests will always bring pleasure and
feeling
Correct article usage
a feeling
show examples
 of
satisfaction
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.
For example
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, a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
offamous
Correct your spelling
of famous
 researchers made their career choices not because of appealing wages,but because they were
passionateabout
Correct your spelling
passionate about
 science.
Thaf's
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That's
 why
if's
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it's
show examples
 more important to choose the kind of work that makes you happy than to look only
ata
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at a
at
 high
salary
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,doing what you like keeps you motivated and
therefore
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 leads to
a
Remove the article
apply
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career growth.
In other words
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, there is
astrong
Correct your spelling
a strong
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between
job
Use synonyms
safisfaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
 and productivity.People who love their jobs can easily excel in their
fieldsof
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fields of
field of
 work and achieve better results than those, who put
salary
Use synonyms
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first place.
For instance
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,Henry Miller
decidedto
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decided to
 leave his everyday
job
Use synonyms
despife
Correct your spelling
despite
 a good wage and ventured to become a writer.And after enduring years of
upsand
Correct your spelling
ups and
downs
Add a comma
downs,
show examples
 he became one of the most famous and well-paid authors of the twentieth century.
Thus
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,
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
ofjobs
Correct your spelling
of jobs
 that keep you satisfied outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 of a low
salary
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
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long-term
Correct word choice
long
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 perspective.
To conclude
Linking Words
,I strongly believe that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial
thanhigh
Correct your spelling
than high
salary
Use synonyms
 because
if
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 makes
peoplehappy
Correct your spelling
people happy
 and
mofivated
Correct your spelling
motivated
.
Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-developed with clear main ideas, supported by relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
Maintain focus on the prompt throughout your essay without digressing. Make sure your opinion is clear and consistent.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to structure your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and mirror each other in terms of the points made.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas fully to meet the task requirement. Each paragraph should explore the main ideas in depth.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors to ensure clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. The examples should clearly relate to the main points and strengthen your position.
task achievement
Consistently develop your viewpoint throughout the essay, ensuring that your argument remains clear and leads to a logical conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structures to improve the flow and clarity of the essay. Varied complex sentence structures contribute to a higher band.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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