The graph shows the number of boys and girls playiing sport in an english city town in 2012

#boys #girls #sport #english #city #town

The given illustrates

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

several sports (Tennis, Badminton, Cycling, Swimming,

Football

, and

Hockey

) played by

teenages

Correct your spelling

teenagers

in a

Britan

Correct word choice

British

show examples

city

Change preposition

show examples

the year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2012.

Overall

mens

Correct your spelling

men's

men

most

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

sport was

football

while

women

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

swimming and

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

participation in the sports

overall

higher

Add a missing verb

was higher

show examples

than ladies.

However

, both

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

least

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

sport was

hockey

. In terms of boys,

football

was the

popular

Correct quantifier usage

most popular

show examples

among other

phycical

Correct your spelling

physical

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

which was played by around 60 people.

Also

, the second highest played activity was tennish about 50

whereas

, almost 40

number of

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

mens

Correct your spelling

men

doing

Verb problem

went

show examples

swimming and cycling

while

badmintan

Correct your spelling

badminton

played by 30 people. Even though their interest

not

Add a missing verb

was not

show examples

much in

hockey

because it was only

prefered

Correct your spelling

preferred

by less than 20 individuals.

On the other hand

, around 50 girls' top activity was swimming which was the highest among others

while

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

less

Correct word choice

small

show examples

amount of ladies liked

hockey

which is less than 10

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. But they focused on other plays

such

as,

badmintan

Correct your spelling

badminton

and tennis were played by almost 40 girls and cycling and

football

were participated by around 20.

Submitted by n_wara11 on Sat Nov 18 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words football, hockey with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

174 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph shows the number of boys and girls playiing sport in an english city town in 2012

It might be said that protecting the environment is the most important challenge facing governments today. How important do you feel this issue is? Are there other challenges which are of equal or greater importance?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What should be done to solve this?

Nowadays public transport prices are constantly increasing. Why do you think it is happening? How can this problem be solved?

Many student choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some high schools have a requirement that students must complete a certain amount of volunteer work in order to graduate. What do you think about this type of requirement? Give details to support your opinion.