Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

#nations #wealth #food #education #responsibility #governments #citizens

The world has reached a point where there’s a huge gap between developed societies and poor ones. Some people agree with the idea that affluent

regions

must share resources with poor

regions

and others disagree. I will illustrate the different perspectives in

this

essay and whether developed societies should share their wealth with poor ones or not.

To begin

with, poor

countries

have the first responsibility to improve the infrastructure and

economical

Replace the word

economic

show examples

situation. It’s undoubtedly true that they can’t satisfy all their people's needs,

however

, they must distribute their income on the most basic needs

such

as education, food and health.

On the other hand

, rich

regions

should share the experience they gained from their journey to wealth and civilization

Change preposition

with

show examples

poor

regions

This

can be done through economic assistance or

carrying

Change preposition

by carrying

show examples

out joint projects in developing

countries

to accelerate their economic growth.

This

will help relieve global challenges like illegal migration. Developed

countries

can

also

offer scholarships and grants for distinguished students of poor communities to give them a chance to improve their lives.

This

will help create a new world full of equity. It’s the responsibility of developing

countries

to work hard to have a better future for the people. That doesn’t deny the fact that developed

countries

play an important role

to help

Change preposition

in helping

show examples

accelerate these

countries

’ growth in all aspects.

This

collaboration will help create a world full of love and kindness.

Submitted by shadyrafat60 on Sat Nov 18 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the main points of the discussion, while the conclusion needs to summarize your arguments succinctly and coherently.

logical structure

Aim for logical progression of ideas and ensure that each main point is elaborated on. Transition between each of the paragraphs smoothly.

supported main points

Develop your arguments with clear and specific examples, figures, or case studies to illustrate your points. General statements should be minimized and your ideas need to be fleshed out with concrete details.

complete response

Make sure to address the entire prompt thoroughly and not skew towards one aspect of the discussion. Address both views fully before presenting your own opinion to meet the task requirements effectively.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify and elaborate on key ideas to bring forth a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph builds upon the last.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more real-life examples to substantiate your claims and validate your arguments. A rich variety of examples gives the essay more depth and helps in achieving a higher band score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays many people go shopping in their free time. Shopping has replaced many other activities that people used to choose as their hobby. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many Le Thanh Tong grade 11 students lack focus and drive. What is the causes for this? What do you do think is the most effective solution?

Some people say that studying at school is not important because most important things are learnt outside the school. Do you agree or disagree?

Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.