Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, Many people argue that
the
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apply
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children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
should be given
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
to choose their free
time
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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. I firmly believe
with
Change preposition
in
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this
argument. On the one hand , there are many advantages of permitting
children
to choose their free
time
activities
.
Firstly
, it makes
children
feel special.
Children
can play any
sports
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sport
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of their wish with their group and playing with
the
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their
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peers enhances their mental strength.
As a result
, it helps in
children
's
overall
growth.
Secondly
, performing
activities
of their wish helps in inculcating societal values in
children
.
For instance
, In Australia, a study was conducted by testing the IQ levels of
children
who play
games
of their wish and the
children
who play
games
of their parent's wish. It was found that the
children
who played
games
of their own wish had more IQ than
rest
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the rest
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of the
children
.
On the other hand
, there are
also
many disadvantages of
children
choosing their own free
time
activities
. Aggression
,
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apply
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is one of the major problem which most of
such
children
faces.
Children
whose parents choose their leisure
activities
are more polite,
whereas
,
children
who choose their own leisure activity are more aggressive both towards the game
as well as
in real life. In
a
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apply
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research in
U.K.
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the U.K.
show examples
in 2019, it was found that
children
whose parents organized their free
time
games
had
more
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a more
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balanced life as compared to the
children
who chose their own free
time
games
. It implies that
parent's
Change noun form
parents
show examples
organizing the free
time
activity is more beneficial in
long
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the long
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term. In conclusion,
Children
should be permitted to perform
activities
of their own wish but under Parent's supervision. Parents should guide
children
about which
activities
to perform and which not to perform.
Submitted by jayeshnain03 on

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Task Achievement
Develop a clear position throughout your response. Your essay occasionally contradicts itself which can confuse the reader about your stance.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of your argument by avoiding contradictions and by more clearly outlining both views before stating your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Increase the range of cohesive devices used to improve the flow of the essay. Aim for variety and appropriate use rather than repeating the same connectors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphing to structure your essay coherently, presenting each main point in a new paragraph and developing it thoroughly before moving on to the next point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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