Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, Many people argue that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

should be given

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to choose their free

time

Use synonyms

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

. I firmly believe

with

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show examples

this

Linking Words

argument. On the one hand , there are many advantages of permitting

children

Use synonyms

to choose their free

time

Use synonyms

activities

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, it makes

children

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feel special.

Children

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can play any

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

of their wish with their group and playing with

the

Change the word

their

show examples

peers enhances their mental strength.

As a result

Linking Words

, it helps in

children

Use synonyms

overall

Linking Words

growth.

Secondly

Linking Words

, performing

activities

Use synonyms

of their wish helps in inculcating societal values in

children

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For instance

Linking Words

, In Australia, a study was conducted by testing the IQ levels of

children

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who play

games

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of their wish and the

children

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who play

games

Use synonyms

of their parent's wish. It was found that the

children

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who played

games

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of their own wish had more IQ than

rest

Correct article usage

the rest

show examples

of the

children

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

many disadvantages of

children

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choosing their own free

time

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activities

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. Aggression

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apply

show examples

is one of the major problem which most of

such

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children

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faces.

Children

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whose parents choose their leisure

activities

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are more polite,

whereas

Linking Words

children

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who choose their own leisure activity are more aggressive both towards the game

as well as

Linking Words

in real life. In

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research in

U.K.

Correct article usage

the U.K.

show examples

in 2019, it was found that

children

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whose parents organized their free

time

Use synonyms

games

Use synonyms

had

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

balanced life as compared to the

children

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who chose their own free

time

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games

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. It implies that

parent's

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parents

show examples

organizing the free

time

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activity is more beneficial in

long

Correct article usage

the long

show examples

term. In conclusion,

Children

Use synonyms

should be permitted to perform

activities

Use synonyms

of their own wish but under Parent's supervision. Parents should guide

children

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about which

activities

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to perform and which not to perform.

jayeshnain03Sat Nov 18 2023

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Task Achievement

Develop a clear position throughout your response. Your essay occasionally contradicts itself which can confuse the reader about your stance.

Task Achievement

Enhance the clarity of your argument by avoiding contradictions and by more clearly outlining both views before stating your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Increase the range of cohesive devices used to improve the flow of the essay. Aim for variety and appropriate use rather than repeating the same connectors.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use paragraphing to structure your essay coherently, presenting each main point in a new paragraph and developing it thoroughly before moving on to the next point.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

balanced development
expose children to
tailored activities
promote discipline
foster independence
genuine interests
free play
problem-solving skills
emotional well-being
unstructured time
personal exploration
structured activities

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Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, more and more women have full-time jobs as men. There is a logic that they should share the housework equally with men. To what extent do you agree or disagree

A lot of places on the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweighs its drawback?

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a life without that technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) is less important now than it was in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that in this modern world getting old is entirely bad. However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now than it was in the past. Discuss both points and give your opinion.