Some people say History is the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science & technology are more important than History
In my opinion, I think every subject is important for us. We have to learn everything through our
pas
, present and Correct your spelling
past
future
. Some people
say that History
is one of the most important school subjects it’s true but it has to go along with
today’s world which is Science
and Technology
. How can we move without our history
, the people
behind us “The ancient people
” is
the most powerful Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
who pushes
us to move forward. They taught us how to fire a light, how to find Change the verb form
push
a food
, how to live with other Remove the article
food
a portion of food
and
animals, how to survive and others. Of Correct word choice
apply
course
we would not know that without them.
Add a comma
course,
Science
and Technology
are important too. They give us chance
to move forward with them. Without them, we are just a normal human being. We spend our daily Correct article usage
a chance
life
with no added value. Without them, we have no light, we have no food, we have no comfortable stuff and things. Old Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
can survive without these things. Human creates a lot of invention to give an unlimited wants
of Correct the article-noun agreement
unlimited wants
an unlimited want
people
based on a limited government.
May I gives
one example of the development of Change the verb form
give
science
and technology
. With this
two things, it Correct determiner usage
these
give
us Change the verb form
gives
chance
to be a member of Correct article usage
a chance
ASEAN
“Association of South East Asia Correct article usage
the ASEAN
Nation
” we can be able to communicate with the other nine countries with Fix the agreement mistake
Nations
the
high Correct article usage
apply
technology
. It helps is
to be a team with the other 9 countries to develop our country. Help us in terms of transportation, communication, collaboration and so on. It can definitely hold on to that hope that in the near Correct your spelling
us
future
Add a comma
future,
overall
economics can totally achieves
. It is a fact that the Wrong verb form
achieved
member
of the ASEAN have differences in Fix the agreement mistake
members
term
of political standing, culture and traditions but it’s not a problem with our help. I know that there Fix the agreement mistake
terms
are
a bright Change the verb form
is
future
are
waiting for all of us and Unnecessary verb
apply
that is
a reason why History
, Science
and Technology
is
important.
We use Correct subject-verb agreement
are
history
to learn about others, their culture and their tradition to be understand
by each other more and more. And sing Change the verb form
be understood
science
and technology
to help us, our country, our world to be moving
forward, to help each other and to give a bright Wrong verb form
move
chances
and Correct the article-noun agreement
chance
future
for everyone, especially kids give a chance to
Change preposition
apply
them
to study, to go to school, to get knowledge so the next ten years, twenty years to the new upcoming year all of them can help each other to pass these chances to others.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction lacks an effective hook and thesis statement. Consider delineating your viewpoint clearly and providing a roadmap for the arguments you intend to discuss. Make certain the introduction aligns with the assertions made in the essay's body.
logical structure
While your essay conveys personal conviction, the ideas could be better structured. Aim to use a clear paragraph structure, with topic sentences that introduce the paragraph's main idea, followed by explanation and example. This will assist the reader in following your argumentation more effectively.
complete response
The essay generally adheres to the topic but could benefit from a more exhaustive exploration of the contrast between History, Science and Technology. You should strive to address the prompt more fully by exploring why some individuals emphasize the importance of History over Science and Technology and vice versa. Sufficient examples and explanations must substantiate your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop clarity and depth in your ideas by avoiding overgeneralization and by focusing on specificity. Rather than making broad assertions, provide concrete examples and detailed explanations to enhance your argument's persuasive power.
relevant specific examples
You have attempted to utilize examples, but they are often too general or lack specificity. Aim to provide concrete and relevant instances from real-life that illustrate your points effectively. This can include citing historical events, technological milestones, or modern-day scenarios that demonstrate the importance of these subjects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.