In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.
In today’s advanced society,
gen z
or Correct your spelling
Gen Z
children
have a lifestyle of eating foods
more than previous generations. One of the most important attentions is some views show that hobbies make
bad effects Verb problem
have
for
Change preposition
on
children
’s health, and I agree with this
opinion.
Firstly
, young people nowadays have lots of free time to do something like eating junk foods
or drinking soft drinks as a habit. Fix the agreement mistake
food
In addition
, this
can be more dangerous for children
if they use it in a long-term daily life. Such
as big problems like eating snacks each day for a week or absorbing some bad drinks while
watching TV or Internet
can cause several diseases for Correct article usage
the Internet
children
, especially heart problems or some parts in
Change preposition
of
body
like kidney or liver ills…
Add an article
the body
a body
Secondly
, the mass media now may effect on gen z’s
eating lifestyle very crucially. Correct your spelling
affect Gen Z’s
Eventhough
there are many cautions Correct your spelling
Even though
of
Change preposition
against
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
foods
, the
Correct article usage
apply
children
just trust and believe the advertisement
or the Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
Internet’s
devices like TikTok, Change noun form
Internet
Youtube
, Correct your spelling
YouTube
Facebook
,... One clear example is a lot of big corporations today are finding some plans Correct word choice
and Facebook
for
attract young believers, not only they don’t care about the negative Change preposition
to
affects
on Correct your spelling
effects
people
health but Change noun form
people's
also
as well as
get Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
benefit
for their Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
economic
.
Replace the word
economy
To conclude
, it can be more worst if we keep the kids or teenagers in developed life depend
on Replace the word
dependent
the
bad habits or lifestyles Correct article usage
apply
as
eating bad Correct quantifier usage
such as
foods
or consuming too much
snacks. They should Change the quantifier
many
be learned
how junk Wrong verb form
learn
foods
or soft drinks can effect
their health and try Correct your spelling
affect
the
ways to avoid Correct article usage
apply
the
bad Correct article usage
apply
advices
from Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
Internet
.Add an article
the Internet
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure a clear introduction with a precise thesis statement that addresses the question directly and declare your position. The presence of an introduction is noticed, however, it lacks clarity and directness in stating your opinion on the issue at hand.
logical structure
Construct clear and logical paragraphs with a central idea supported by evidence or examples. Attempt to smoothly transition between ideas to establish a coherent flow in your essay.
supported main points
Provide detailed supporting points and relevant examples for each main idea. Be critical and elaborate on your arguments to strengthen the impact of your essay.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of the topic with a clear position throughout. Additionally, make sure to answer all aspects of the prompt entirely for a high task achievement score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop ideas fully to elaborate the points made within the essay. Clear and comprehensive exploration of ideas with relevant explanations will enhance the essay's effectiveness.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to substantiate your claims. These examples need to be relevant and accurately support your argument to fulfill the task prompt requirements effectively.