In many countries today, the eating habit and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some are of the opinion that this had negative effects on their health. What is your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with this idea.

In today’s advanced society,
gen z
Correct your spelling
Gen Z
show examples
or
children
have a lifestyle of eating
foods
more than previous generations. One of the most important attentions is some views show that hobbies
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
’s health, and I agree with
this
opinion.
Firstly
, young people nowadays have lots of free time to do something like eating junk
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
or drinking soft drinks as a habit.
In addition
,
this
can be more dangerous for
children
if they use it in a long-term daily life.
Such
as big problems like eating snacks each day for a week or absorbing some bad drinks
while
watching TV or
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
can cause several diseases for
children
, especially heart problems or some parts
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
body
Add an article
the body
a body
show examples
like kidney or liver ills…
Secondly
, the mass media now may
effect on gen z’s
Correct your spelling
affect Gen Z’s
eating lifestyle very crucially.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
there are many cautions
of
Change preposition
against
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
foods
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
just trust and believe the
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
or the
Internet’s
Change noun form
Internet
show examples
devices like TikTok,
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
,
Facebook
Correct word choice
and Facebook
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,... One clear example is a lot of big corporations today are finding some plans
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
attract young believers, not only they don’t care about the negative
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
on
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health but
also
as well as
get
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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for their
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
To conclude
, it can be more worst if we keep the kids or teenagers in developed life
depend
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad habits or lifestyles
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
eating bad
foods
or consuming too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
snacks. They should
be learned
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
how junk
foods
or soft drinks can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
their health and try
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ways to avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
from
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure a clear introduction with a precise thesis statement that addresses the question directly and declare your position. The presence of an introduction is noticed, however, it lacks clarity and directness in stating your opinion on the issue at hand.
logical structure
Construct clear and logical paragraphs with a central idea supported by evidence or examples. Attempt to smoothly transition between ideas to establish a coherent flow in your essay.
supported main points
Provide detailed supporting points and relevant examples for each main idea. Be critical and elaborate on your arguments to strengthen the impact of your essay.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task. The essay should provide a balanced discussion of the topic with a clear position throughout. Additionally, make sure to answer all aspects of the prompt entirely for a high task achievement score.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop ideas fully to elaborate the points made within the essay. Clear and comprehensive exploration of ideas with relevant explanations will enhance the essay's effectiveness.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to substantiate your claims. These examples need to be relevant and accurately support your argument to fulfill the task prompt requirements effectively.

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