IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons? Solutions to change negative attitudes?

#people #tourism #country #change #attitudes
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Some individuals argue that
tourism
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 on a global scale is not desirable for local
people
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.
This
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 essay will analyze the causes of
this
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 situation and suggest several solutions which can resolve
this
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 problem.
Initially
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, many
people
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oppose
Wrong verb form
opposed
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 international
tourism
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Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
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 some reasons. They believe that numerous
tourists
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 stay a place can create a great deal of rubbish, which leads to environmental degradation and has a detrimental impact on
local
Add an article
the local
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 ecosystem. A typical example is the Maldives, an island
that is
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 mainly dependent on
tourism
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.
However
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,
this
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 industry has taken a heavy toll on
local
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the local
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 environment. The second problem
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is the cultural conflict between international
tourists
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 and local
people
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.
For instance
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,
tourists
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 usually wear revealing clothes, especially women, when they come to sacred sites
such
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 as temples or shrines.
Besides
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, many
tourists
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 have disrespectful behaviours at sacred places, they often speak and laugh loudly, take photos in prohibited areas and do not follow compliance
with
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apply
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rules at
sites
Correct article usage
the sites
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 where they come.
Moreover
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, some international
tourists
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 suppose that they play a vital role in the development of
tourism
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 and
therefore
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 the authorities do not punish these
tourists
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 strictly when they do negative actions
such
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 as throwing garbage,
disturbing
Correct word choice
or disturbing
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 public order, … In fact,
countries
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in countries
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 that are predominantly dependent on
tourism
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,
tourists
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 with
such
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 behaviours often only receive a warning or even be ignored by the authorities.
This
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 causes a conflict
to
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apply
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not only
local
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with local
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people
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, but other
tourists
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, and has a significant impact on the development of
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tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 sector.
Furthermore
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, the government can impose numerous punishments on behaviours having an adverse influence on the environment or cultural heritage
such
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 as throwing trash or wearing inappropriate clothes at religious places.
As a result
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,
this
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 will encourage
tourists
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 to become more responsible and cautious when
traveling
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travelling
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 to a nation. In summary, many
people
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 have unfavourable attitudes towards international
tourism
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 because of its negative effects on the environment and cultural heritage.
Therefore
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 the authorities have to impose the mentioned measures to change these views.
Submitted by weezel on

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Structure
To enhance your score, try integrating more varied and complex sentence structures throughout your essay. This can make your arguments more compelling and your writing more engaging.
Content
Consider offering clearer, more direct solutions to the problems described. Present the solutions more systematically and connect them more explicitly to the causes.
Examples
Incorporate specific, real-life examples to support your claims. This can bolster your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've done a great job of presenting a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
Supported Main Points
You adequately support your main points with statements that reflect a good understanding of the topic.
Logical Structure
The logical flow of ideas is evident, showing good use of coherence and cohesion techniques.
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