IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#plan #museum #changes #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The two maps
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the changes which
had
Verb problem
took
show examples
 taken
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a museum
an
Change preposition
for an
show examples
 eleven-year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period between 1998 and 2008. In
generally
Change the word
general
show examples
, an interesting thing is that Permanent Exhibition Rooms had been
knocking
Wrong verb form
knocked
show examples
 down in 2008, there
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to be more in 1998. It had been more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 to spend time at the museum than before. Another interesting change is that
Restaurant
Correct article usage
the Restaurant
show examples
 had been built
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 part of
Correct article usage
the north-west
show examples
north-west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 area and café was next to
Restaurant
Correct article usage
the Restaurant
show examples
 which was renovated
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit smaller,
however
 sitting area had been introduced at
Garden
Correct article usage
the Garden
show examples
.
In addition
, a
fountains
Change the noun form
fountain
show examples
 was placed
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Garden
Correct article usage
the Garden
show examples
, which had been useful in
Garden
Correct article usage
the Garden
show examples
 area. Another development thing is that
Temporary
Correct article usage
the Temporary
show examples
 Exhibition Room
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been expanded. Some facilities had been replaced,
such
 as Bags and Coats, shops and WC.
On the other hand
,
Garden
Correct article usage
the Garden
show examples
 had been developing,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it had not been relocated and
TICKETS
Correct article usage
the TICKETS
show examples
 Entrance/ Exit had not been moved
Change preposition
to other
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
 place.
Submitted by ionyourenglish on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words garden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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