IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that all companies decisions should be decided by the managers, while others view that its better to include employees in decision making. discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern world, many
business
Change to a plural noun
businesses

The singular countable noun business follows the quantifier many, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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 are
growth up
Correct your spelling
growing

The word growth up doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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why some
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses

It seems that business may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 believe that the CEO is the only person who can show ideas to improve the company.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 others think that staffs should give the idea to promote
companiess
Correct your spelling
companies

If you don’t want companiess to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

too.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 statement and will give reasons from my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view

It seems that views may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, the reasons
is
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb is appears to be unnecessary here.

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why employees

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task achievement
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and fails to paraphrase the essay question appropriately. It is important to clearly present both views and your own opinion in the introduction to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Logical sequencing of ideas is not demonstrated. Paragraphs are not well-developed, and the essay's argument does not progress in a logical or coherent manner.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are not adequately supported. To score higher, ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and is supported by specific evidence or examples.
task achievement
This task is incomplete, and the response is too short to achieve coherence and task achievement. The essay must be developed to a suitable length to fully answer the question and express clear and comprehensible ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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