IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

With the fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#pace #life #people #food #meals
In the past decade technology and
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. People have become lazier in all aspects and the reason is that they don’t have enough time to prepare their own
dish
Fix the agreement mistake
dishes
show examples
instead
 of eating fast
food
. That’s why the majority of people have become outweighed. In
this
 essay I will examine both advantages and disadvantages with their vital points and in the end, I will give my own point of view. First and foremost, the reason why society chooses fast
food
 is that it will save time.
Moreover
, it is very complicated to prepare and
also
 in some countries
such
 as the USA cooking prices are
more prices
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than fast
food
.
For instance
, if someone is willing to cook, he needs to go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 grocery store to pick up
ingredients
Correct article usage
the ingredients
show examples
 that
require
Wrong verb form
are required
show examples
 and
also
, he needs to know how to combine recipes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all these procedures will take a lot of effort and energy.
Nevertheless
, precooked
food
 has many drawbacks as well, one of the big cons is being overweight. Usually, those kinds of
food
 contain a huge amount of sugar, oil, fat and chemicals to make them look tasty.
Furthermore
, gaining too much weight causes serious health problems
such
 as diabetes, high blood pressure,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 struggle to breathe.
In addition
, if the body doesn’t receive enough nutrients, it is difficult to be healthy and fit. In conclusion, there have been only a few advantages of eating
take away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
show examples
 foods
such
 as saving time and steering clear
cooking
Change preposition
of cooking
show examples
 difficulties.
However
, when consuming the meal, it doesn’t have any benefit for your health and even consuming
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term might kill people. In my opinion, eating moderate junk
food
,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 2 times a month will definitely not affect your body.
Submitted by alex.martirosyan201206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are clearly divided and structured with introductory sentences, supporting details, and concluding remarks. Develop coherence by linking ideas smoothly, and cohesion can be improved by using a range of linking words and phrases effectively throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Effectively address all parts of the task, ensuring a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages with clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant, specific examples. Each point made should be developed sufficiently to demonstrate an understanding of the topic and to support your position.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: