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Writing Samples
Band 5

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows the plan of a museum in 1998 and after some changes were made in it in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two maps show the main changes which have taken
place
Use synonyms
 in the
museum
Use synonyms
 between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1998 and 2008. In general, it appears that the
museum
Use synonyms
 has become a much more modern
place
Use synonyms
, with a new café sitting area and fountains. One interesting change is that the shop and bags and coats
place
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been changed to the other side of the
museum
Use synonyms
. Another striking change is that the temporary exhibition room has been built bigger. Over
this
Linking Words
room
Add a comma
room,
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 there is nowadays a restaurant. The garden became new fountains and a café sitting area. Another replacement has taken
place
Use synonyms
 in the
museum
Use synonyms
 within the toilets. In the present
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
 they are right by the café. Two things did not have changed, the permanent exhibition rooms and the entrance/exit are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
place
Use synonyms
 now as in 1998.
Also
Linking Words
 the garden is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same
place
Use synonyms
 as 1998, but with little changes and modernizations.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words place, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 6 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rectangular shape
  • central garden area
  • symmetrically arranged
  • expanded galleries
  • visitor flow management
  • temporary exhibition space
  • permanent gallery
  • visitor facilities
  • customer service focus
  • dedicated children's area
  • expanded restroom facilities
  • museum gardens
  • unoccupied outdoor space
  • shift towards long-term exhibits
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