IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, tr vocabulary orain, or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

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According to
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 some
people
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, the only means of
transport
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 is a personal
car
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whereas
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 others prefer to commute from one place to another by public
transport
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 like bus, train, or subway. In my opinion, the suitable option for transportation in cities should be public
transport
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, not a personal
car
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. Commute from one place to another depends upon
car
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 only among the
people
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 who are wealthy. In the cities, we can see a
lot
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 of
people
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travel
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 every day by
car
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. Commute by
car
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 has a
lot
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 of advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages.
People
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 who
travel
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 by
car
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 every day have the opportunity
of
Change preposition
to
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 reach their destination on
time
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, especially
people
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 who are going to the office or educational institutions. Travelling by
car
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 saves their energy
,
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apply
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 and
time
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 and they can utilize their
time
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 in productivity in their workplace.
For instance
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, the majority of
people
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 in the USA use the
car
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 to
travel
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 to their workplace and consider it convenient. Travelling by
car
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 is safe, easy, comfortable and
time
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-saving.
According to
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 some masses, the
travel
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 option is a bus, train or public
transport
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.
Although
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this
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travel
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 option is far cheaper than a personal
car
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 it requires a
lot
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 of
time
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 on the road which kills the valuable
time
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 of the passengers.
However
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, there are advantages of commuting by public
transport
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 because
while
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 commuting they do not have to drive and they can utilize that
time
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 reading books or taking phone calls.
For instance
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, a
lot
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 of
people
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 in South Asian countries
travel
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 by public
transport
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 every day and they say though it is
time
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-consuming they try to utilize their
time
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.
Therefore
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, I personally believe that travelling by public
transport
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 is more beneficial than
car
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.
To conclude
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, travelling by public
transport
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 or
car
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 has its own benefits and drawbacks.
People
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 choose it
according to
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 their requirements
and
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apply
show examples
habits and convenience.
However
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, I believe
travel
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 by
transport
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 is more fascinating and enjoyable.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Some points were abrupt and need better linking.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and repetition of ideas to maintain the reader's engagement and provide a more streamlined essay.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of cohesive devices to help bind ideas and paragraphs together for better fluidity.
task achievement
Offer a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and your own opinion with well-supported arguments and examples.
task achievement
Include examples that are specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate your points for stronger arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure for clarity and aim for a variety of complex sentence forms to demonstrate linguistic range.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarises the main points effectively and reflects a clear opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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