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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching student to judge right and wrong and to behave well. Some say that teacher should only teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It can be considered that most people believe
teachers
Use synonyms
 ought to teach
students
Use synonyms
 judging
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
right and wrong, which can affect their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 positively,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
teacher's
Correct article usage
the teacher's
show examples
 role is teaching academic subjects. In my view,
school
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 keep playing a crucial role in
children
Use synonyms
's
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
,
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consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 they should teach judging correctly.
Firstly
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,
teachers
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 can prevent a serious issue
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 class, which may have
a negative effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a negative effect
negative effects
show examples
 on
children
Use synonyms
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 spend plenty of time at
school
Use synonyms
, where they can face
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
peer pressure or bullying from others. If
teachers
Use synonyms
 ignore the bad
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and struggling
students
Use synonyms
, it will be able to lead to
commit
Wrong verb form
committing
show examples
Add an article
a crime
the crime
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
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 or
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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suicide by youngsters.
For example
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, some schools have a strict
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
, which avoid cheating on exams,
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 fighting with others and being polite to everyone.
Thus
Linking Words
,
teachers
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 can
implicit
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
significantly
students
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 and be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for them.
Secondly
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,
teachers
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 may become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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 for
students
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 from dysfunctional families.
In particular
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, these
students
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 can have only one parent or they may suffer from
families
Change the noun form
family
show examples
 violence.
For instance
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, a number of parents do not have enough time to educate their kids and correct their values, so these
children
Use synonyms
 usually feel
loneliness
Replace the word
lonely
show examples
 and can not
adaptate
Correct your spelling
adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society. In
this
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 case,
teachers
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 may support them and help
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 become
a good citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
school
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 professionals and instructors can involve these
students
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 in additional classes, which often can develop their vital skills.
Hence
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,
school
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teachers
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 may improve
student's
Fix the agreement mistake
students'
show examples
 actions
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
.
To sum up
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, I believe that teaching
students
Use synonyms
judging of
Wrong verb form
to judge
show examples
 right and wrong is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important example of their
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 style of teaching can prevent
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
serious problems,
such
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 as becoming criminals or having mental diseases among
children
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present both views and lead to your thesis statement. The body paragraphs should elaborate clearly on each view with supporting reasons and relevant examples, followed by your own view. A conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion. Work on your essay structure to make it more logical and easier to follow. Paragraphs should be well-developed with one main idea each that is explained and supported by examples or evidence. Keep ideas coherent and clearly linked.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task and ensure your opinion is clear throughout. You should discuss both views as the prompt requests before giving your opinion, and then clearly state and support your opinion in a separate paragraph. Your response should fully answer all parts of the question. Use a mixture of complex structures and vocabulary to demonstrate language proficiency, but make sure that accuracy is not compromised. Examples should be specific, relevant, and effectively illustrate the point being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral values
  • ethics
  • character development
  • academic knowledge
  • teaching methodologies
  • curriculum
  • critical thinking
  • intellectual growth
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • behavioral issues
  • conflict resolution
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