In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods . This is having a negative effects on both families and societies . To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #foods #effects #families #societies

No one can deny that international fast

foods

are constantly on the rise

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show examples

many countries. Even

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

population are enjoying international

foods

more than traditional

foods

. In

this

paragrph

Correct your spelling

paragraph

Change the capitalization

show examples

totally agree that

this

will lead to negative effects on both families and societies in health

implication

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implications

show examples

as well as

on environmental concerns.

Firstly

, junk

food

made with high calories , fat and sugar

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

harmful to human health, resulting in, medical issues or illness.

For example

korean

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Korean

show examples

ramen and fried chicken are most enjoyable

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for

show examples

teenagers in

this

period,which can link to

global

Add an article

a global

the global

show examples

increase in obesity, diabetes or other health issues, sometimes, leading to psychological distress.

Therefore

, both families and societies will have a huge impact on unhealthiness

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to traditional

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

This

makes it clear that consuming

large

Change the article

a large

show examples

amount of junk

food

are

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show examples

bad for

body

Correct article usage

the body

show examples

and mind.

Secondly

, fast

food

production and packaging contribute significantly to environmental degradation.

For instance

,most of the packaging products from

oversea

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overseas

show examples

are made out of plastic materials ,so

this

can

be properly ship

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be properly shipped

show examples

another countries

Replace the adjective

another country

other countries

show examples

Hence

, improper disposal of plastic waste can cause pollution to flora and fauna.

In contrast

, traditional

food

preparation methods may be more sustainable and eco-friendly.

This

becomes apparent that international junk

food

cause

Change the verb form

causes

show examples

more harm than traditional

food

. In conclusion,local

foods

are more healthy and

environmental

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environmentally

show examples

friendly than

import

Replace the word

imported

show examples

foods

.Obviously,

this

pre-packaging

food

will always have greater negative effects than positive effects,

therefore

, traditional

foods

should not be replaced by international fast

foods

Submitted by tifjong on Mon Nov 20 2023

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that you are addressing all parts of the task. You should present a balanced argument that covers both sides if the task requires it. Your essay shows a clear inclination towards agreement but lacks depth in exploring counterarguments or acknowledging any potential positive aspects, which could lead to a more nuanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay needs clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your main points. You should also work on developing your arguments with more logical explanations and providing specific examples from reliable sources to support your points. Additionally, aim to exhibit a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing skills to further strengthen the coherence of your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

240 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural identity
heritage
culinary practices
prevalent
obesity
diabetes
diet-related health issues
economic challenges
street food vendors
family dynamics
on-the-go
environmental degradation
sustainable
eco-friendly
homogenization
foodscapes
agricultural diversity
biodiversity

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In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods . This is having a negative effects on both families and societies . To what extent do you agree or disagree

Word Count

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects

9. Some people prefer to be self-employed, whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages Which is a better approach.

The below gives information about rail transport in four counties in 2007.

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

ART CLASSES, SUCH AS PAINTING AND DRAWING, AE AS IMPORTANT TO A CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT AS OTHER SUBJECTS, SO IT SHOULD BE COMPULSORY IN HIGH SCHOOLS. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?