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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000, 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The three pie charts illustrate how many degrees granted are divided between four sciences at the National university
depended
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the year. Pay attention that only computer science
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 showing
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 rise from 1990 to 2010 years.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, if in nineteen ninety it divided the first place in volume 30 pre
cent
Use synonyms
 with the Business, in
2000s
Change the article
the 2000s
show examples
 it reached forty per
cent
Use synonyms
 and in two thousand ten had already kept just under one half of all volume.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Medicine and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Law fluctuated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar bounders. But if the Law decreased its figures
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
 to two
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 recovered to fifteen. The medicine first grew up close to
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 it fell back to
one quarter
Add a hyphen
one-quarter
show examples
.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 Business science
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same period had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
plummet
Replace the word
plummeting
show examples
 trend and changed the
leader
Replace the word
leading
show examples
 position in 1990 to the
last
Linking Words
 place in two thousand ten with the patterns 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and fifteen respectively.

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "divided" was used 2 times.
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