IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have received a letter from your bank, asking you to acknowledge receipt of a new bank card. However, the card was missing from the envelope. Write a letter to the bank's head office. In your letter: explain why you are writing express concern about the missing card ask them what they intend to do

#minutes #bank #receipt #card #envelope #head #office #concern
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing a request about
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 issuance of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 debit
card
 from your branch.
Since
Correct word choice
apply
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I applied for one week of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 ATM
card
 through
online
Add an article
an online
the online
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 form and I received
today
Correct pronoun usage
it today
show examples
. The
letter
 I am sending to you
because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 I
didn't
Verb problem
haven't
show examples
Rephrase
yet receive
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receive
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
 my new
card
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Although
, I have to
mentioned
Change the form of the verb
mention
show examples
 that I received your
letter
. But unfortunately, my
card
 was not with your acknowledgement
letter
.
Besides
this
, the
card
 was not being attached
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mistakenly
from
Change preposition
to
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 your dispatcher.
However
, it is my deep concern that
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it is gone because the envelope had remained merely a
letter
.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
important to check
enclosure
Correct article usage
the enclosure
show examples
 before sending
letter
Add an article
a letter
show examples
 to your clients so the mistakes
could
Verb problem
do
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 not happen again. You can ask
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your employee
that
Correct word choice
if
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 he may
be
Verb problem
have
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forgot
Wrong verb form
forgotten
show examples
 to attach the
card
 with
letter
Correct article usage
the letter
show examples
. I am requesting to please send my bank
card
 as soon as possible because my payments are stopped
due to
ATM
Correct pronoun usage
my ATM
show examples
card
.
Furthermore
, the charges
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my
card
 will not
deduct
Wrong verb form
be deducted
show examples
 again because it is missed by your dispatcher. I am looking forward to hearing from you as
early
Rephrase
soon
show examples
 as possible. Yours Sincerely,
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the letter has a clear introduction, ample development of each point, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the writer's concerns and requests. Address all parts of the task with adequate detail.
logical structure
The letter's logical structure needs improvement. Your ideas should flow naturally from one to the next. Use paragraphs to separate different thoughts and connect them with appropriate transitional phrases.
single idea per paragraph
Make clear separations between paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea or point. Avoid merging multiple concerns or requests in a single paragraph.
greeting and closing
Open your letter with a proper salutation, such as 'Dear Sir or Madam,' and close with a suitable sign-off, like 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your full name. Ensure that these elements are appropriate and consistent with the formality of the letter.
suitable writing tone
Maintain a consistently formal and polite tone throughout the letter. While some emotional concern is acceptable given the context, ensure that it is expressed professionally and without informal language or casual tone.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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