Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its effort on uplifting the less fortunate? discuss both views
While
many are of the view that the main goal of the government should be in expanding
the economy, others strongly believe that the political administration of a country needs to focus on poverty alleviation. Change preposition
to expand
This
is because a boom in the economy provides a favourable environment for every single citizen to thrive and support to
the less privileged Change preposition
apply
reduces
the crime rate in the society.
When leaders focus on Wrong verb form
reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
economical
advancements , everybody will benefit from Replace the word
economic
such
investments in the long run. This
is true because such
immense changes will attract foreign investors which also
means more employment opportunities and a levelled field for everybody to advance in their careers. There will be easy set up of new businesses for entrepreneurs and more citizens will become confident in investing as well ,which sets the GDP at commendable levels . For example
, the vision
2020 Program reduced the number of Capitalize word
Vision
the
unemployed and low salary earners to almost 5%.
A Correct article usage
apply
well developed
scheme for the less fortunate can drastically reduce theft and fraud. The hungry and less privileged will always cause unrest to the wealthier and more fortunate and Add a hyphen
well-developed
such
situations can mean an unsafe society whcich
could scare people from living in their countries thereby increasing brain drain which in fact is not so good for the national development, but with a good scheme all of these can be avoided and the reverse will be the case. Correct your spelling
which
For instance
, the National Poverty Eradication Programme of 2010 in Ogun State reduced the rate of kidnapping that caused most Secondary Schools to stop operations .
In conclusion, the efforts of the government should not only be limited to economic changes but also
to bridging the gap in existential abject poverty as it means no limitation to the number of citizens that can benefit ,
and reduction in criminal offences for the latter.Remove the comma
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear central idea, supported with specific examples and developed coherently. Make use of linking words appropriately to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, ensuring that your argument discusses both views given and provides a clear opinion. Develop a balanced argument with clear, relevant, and extended ideas, supported by examples.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
