IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighbourhood since 1920. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show changes that have taken place in the Sawry District neighbourhood since 1920. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two maps illustrate the changes in the same neighbourhood in the Sawry District in the
last
Linking Words
 century.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Tulebug Bros building
got
Verb problem
was
show examples
 replaced with
Yang
Correct article usage
the Yang
show examples
 office.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the primary
school
Use synonyms
 expanded to be larger than the old
school
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the whole neighbourhood faced a significant
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in apartments, houses and shops.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
Use synonyms
 of Oak Avenue, the Yang office complex replaced the large factory Tulebug Bros in the west area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a new bridge that crosses the Elmwood
river
Capitalize word
River
show examples
 connected with the same road from Oak Avenue.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
south
Add an article
the south
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 of Oak Avenue, there is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
major
changes
Change the noun form
change
show examples
 happened
such
Linking Words
 as the Lonoco Petrol station and the new Prestwich primary
school
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east
side
Use synonyms
 of Miller's Lake.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new two apartments
along with
Linking Words
 a new shop were built
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north
side
Use synonyms
 of the primary
school
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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