IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays people take photographs and record videos of their social activities. Why are they doing this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this activity?

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It is observed that a lot of
people
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 accumulate their social life
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
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 with
photos
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 and videos.
This
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 essay will examine the causes of
this
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 phenomenon and enumerate its merits and demerits
To begin
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 with, there are a few reasons why more
people
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 taken
pictures
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 of their lives. First and foremost, thanks to
development
Add an article
the development
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 of technology, have not only cameras become prevalent but
also
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its specification
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their specifications
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has
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have
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 been sophisticated. Basically, all
people
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 have
their
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apply
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private cameras
with
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on
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the
Change the word
their
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 smartphones.
Therefore
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,
photogragh
Correct your spelling
photograph
photography
 has become easier and
accessible
Correct quantifier usage
more accessible
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 to the public, unlike
the
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in the
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 past when only professional photographers could deal with the gadgets.
Secondly
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, it has become possible
that
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for
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 copious number of
photos
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are
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to be
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 saved simply on the online cloud and social network services. In the past,
people
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 had to print out
pictures
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 to look
them
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at them
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.
However
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,
theses
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these
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 days it is available that
people
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 can immediately save hundreds of
pictures
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 in one file.
In addition
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 to the grounds mentioned above, there are some benefits and drawbacks to
this
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 trend. For one thing,
people
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 can record their lives,
having
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by having
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 daily
photos
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.
Hence
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, when they look at the
photos
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,
this
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 medium can
lively
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apply
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evoke good recollection, keeping details.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 can share their precious
mements
Correct your spelling
moments
mementoes
 with others through social media.
However
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, a downside commonly put forward is that some
people
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 are
obssessed
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obsessed
 with
photograph
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photographs
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,
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apply
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 so
that
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apply
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they upload
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
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 social media. Even that, they might hinder other
people
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’s activities in order to congenial direct.
For instance
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, other
peoples
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people
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 should wait until someone who is driven by social media snaps. In conclusion,
people
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 tend to take a lot of
pictures
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 for several reasons related to technological developments. Aside from that,
this
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 trend
also
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 has advantages and disadvantages.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure stronger logical structure by providing more connective phrases that enhance coherence. The essay seems slightly disjointed at places.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened with clearer thesis statements and summaries of main points.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed explanations and more varied examples; current support is adequate but lacks depth.
task achievement
Address the task more completely by discussing the 'whys' behind the behavior and 'how' it impacts individuals and society, rather than just 'that' it happens.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Work on clarity of expression and depth of ideas to improve.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support the points made; it strengthens the argument and illustrates a better understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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