IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014

the charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014
#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations
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The given pie charts
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
 the
changes
Use synonyms
 in the number of people
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 unpaid by
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 association, environment, art,
sport
Use synonyms
,
health
Use synonyms
 care,
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 and others between 2008 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that almost
Correct article usage
a percent
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each
Use synonyms
organizations
Change to a singular noun
organization
show examples
 witnessed
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a change
changes
show examples
changes
Use synonyms
 from 2008 to 2014.
As a result
Linking Words
 half group in 2008
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2014, and three other percentages
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
. In terms of the proportion of volunteers
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 entertained in environmental,
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and
health
Use synonyms
 care
organizations
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight
rose
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in the next
year
Use synonyms
,
sport
Use synonyms
 increased significantly by 10%,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 environmental and
health
Use synonyms
 upward slightly from 21 % and 7% to 29% and 8% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the biggest main
changes
Use synonyms
 over the
organizations
Use synonyms
 per
volunteer
Use synonyms
 was
sport
Use synonyms
 and the least was
health
Use synonyms
 care
volunteer
Use synonyms
. Regarding the other
Use synonyms
volunteer
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
show examples
 that
provide
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 decline total percentages in each
Use synonyms
organizations
Change to a singular noun
organization
show examples
 in two different
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
, Art,
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 and other
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
witnessed a significant decline from 2008 to 2014.
Moreover
Linking Words
, art and other
Use synonyms
organizations
Change noun form
organizations'
organization's
show examples
 total
Use synonyms
volunteer
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
show examples
was demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrated
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar total
changes
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 6 percent between 2008 and 2014, beside educational was the main
organizations
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 biggest decrease in the next
year
Use synonyms
 from 24% to 7%.
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, sport, health, organizations, year, volunteer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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