IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart illustrates the results of a review conducted by the university of the opinions of full-time and part-time students about services.

The pie chart illustrates the results of a review conducted by the university of the opinions of full-time and part-time students about services.
All in all, full-time
students
Use synonyms
 have higher percentages in three parts: not at all, quite happy, and very happy for the services at the university,
while
Linking Words
 part-time
students
Use synonyms
 have the lowest results in three parts for the services from the university.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, full-time
students
Use synonyms
 have a higher percentage, accounting for 87
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of very happy
students
Use synonyms
 in current opening hours, and
this
Linking Words
 figure is similar for part-time
students
Use synonyms
 at 72%. Trade utilities of part-time
students
Use synonyms
 accounted for more than two-fifths
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the IT support offered,
although
Linking Words
 in the same case, full-time
students
Use synonyms
 have percentages around less than a fifth
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest percentage comprised almost a quarter of part-time
students
Use synonyms
 who were quite happy during the current opening hours,
whereas
Linking Words
 full-time
students
Use synonyms
 made up 12% of the current opening hours. Based on the data from all survey results conducted by universities regarding services, full-time
students
Use synonyms
 get the highest answers using three categories,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest is among part-time
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: