some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion

It cannot be denied that it is effective to endure
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
challenging
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
, namely an unfulfilling
job
or financial hardship. It is often claimed that it is more advantageous to undertake and enhance these conditions. A difficult situation,
such
as
unrewarding
Add an article
an unrewarding
show examples
job
or financial
constrains
Correct your spelling
constraints
show examples
should be considered to accommodate.
Unsatisfactory
Correct article usage
An unsatisfactory
show examples
job
, particularly
which
Correct pronoun usage
one that
show examples
has not
facilitate
Change the verb form
facilitated
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
career development opportunities has another benefit like building a stepping stone.
Furthermore
,
this
getaway can deliver to gaining a relevant experience. Financial discipline is another reason why people should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
adapt to the difficulties in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of financial strain. The fact of the disciplined resource allocation is society will
be had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
an understanding
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
value of money. Some people argue that it is more effective to undertake and optimize
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unsatisfying
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and financial limitations. Of course, when people pursue to be in the spot of these conditions, might lead to
shape
Wrong verb form
shaping
show examples
personal and professional development.
For example
, individuals
forced
Add a missing verb
are forced
show examples
push
Verb problem
apply
show examples
to develop resilience, resourcefulness and problem-solving skills. In the context of optimization, obviously may
increased
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
the personal growth to learn, contribute and build confidence. It seems to me that
embrace
Replace the word
embracing
show examples
,
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
in suboptimal
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and lack of
financial
Replace the word
finances
show examples
depends on how society's insight. By
adapt
Change the form of the verb
adapting
show examples
to
those precursor
Change the determiner
that precursor
those precursors
show examples
,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
could be more resilient in facing the limitations. When
strive
Change the verb form
striving
show examples
in those conditions,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
might be found another personal growth,
as well as
professional development to improve the same
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
. To summarize, when a problem like
unsatisfactory
Add an article
an unsatisfactory
the unsatisfactory
show examples
job
and obstacles in financial
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
, it is best for individuals to accept, explore and improve. All in all, can deliver
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resilience,
personal
Correct word choice
and personal
show examples
dan professional growth.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, stating your opinion explicitly. This will help to meet the introduction and conclusion criteria more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the essay's logical structure by organizing ideas into clear, well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea with supporting sentences that connect logically to one another.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the main points with specific examples or evidence to support your arguments, providing depth and context to your essay.
task achievement
Provide a more comprehensive response to the task by addressing all parts of the question. Ensure that you explain both views and give your own opinion clearly throughout the essay.
task achievement
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to convey clear and comprehensive ideas. This will also help make your arguments more persuasive and engaging.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples that are directly connected to the argument you are making, which will strengthen your task achievement score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: