In many countries small shops and town centers are going out of business, because people tend to drive to the large out-of-town stores. This results in an increase in car use, and it also means that people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores. Do you think advantages of such development outweigh its disadvantages?

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In
modern
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the modern
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era,
youngesters
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youngsters
are extremely affected by trends
due to
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which they usually visit
to
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apply
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huge malls located in big
cities
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and the business of small sellers is getting ruined.
This
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situation leads to high use of transport system but people with no personal vehicles have limited reach to
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
areas. Well,
according to
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me
this
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is not a positive development and there are more negative effects of
this
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scenario than positive
on
Correct pronoun usage
ones on
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the community. The reasons behind my opinion will be explained in upcoming paragraphs. There are various cons
of
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to
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this
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situation and the most prominent one is that
this
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case is increasing traffic on the roads
due to
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which the rate of air pollution is increasing from 10
percent
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per cent
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to 18
percent
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per cent
show examples
in the countries like India.
Furthermore
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,
high
Correct article usage
the high
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traffic rate is leading to
further
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health
problem
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problems
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along with
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the delay
on
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in
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people
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people's
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arrival
to
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at
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their work locations.
Moreover
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, as people are visiting
to
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apply
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big
cities
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for buying
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to buy
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goods
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due
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apply
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to
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apply
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
small sellers need to shut down their
business
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businesses
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, not only
community
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do community
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members without
person
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personal
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vehicles face problems to some point as they do not have full access to
cities
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but
also
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the old person of society are suffering to high extent because they do not have access to big towns. Needless, to say all these demerits stand in
a
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apply
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good stead. On the flip side, in the big areas items are available a cheaper rates
due to
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high levels of competition in the market.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
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very good discount coupons are available on clothes in Eton Centre, Toronto, in comparison to Tanger
Outlits
Correct your spelling
Outlets
, Cookstown.
Along with
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this
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, more variety of clothes are found in Toronto mall than in Cookstown.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many individuals are in favour
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this
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of this
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trend.
To conclude
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,
according to
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the reasons aforementioned above one can reach
to
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apply
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a logical conclusion that drawbacks of shopping from metro
cities
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are instrumental indeed.
Nevertheless
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, its potential drawbacks can not be overlooked either.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure requires significant improvement. The arguments are not clearly sequenced, and paragraphing is inadequate. To address this, each main point should be discussed in a separate paragraph with clear topic sentences. Transitions and cohesive devices should be used to guide the reader through the argument.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, they do not effectively frame the essay. The introduction should be expanded to include a clear thesis statement that outlines the points to be discussed. The conclusion should summarize the points made and restate the writer's position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Main points are identifiable but are not consistently supported by specific examples or explanations. To improve, ensure that each main point is developed with clear reasoning and evidence. Utilize examples that are directly relevant to the argument to strengthen it.
task achievement
Your essay reflects an attempt to respond to the task; however, it does not do so completely. Ensure that you address both sides of the issue and make your own position clear. Your arguments should be explicitly related to the question, discussing the advantages and disadvantages in balanced measure.
task achievement
The ideas and arguments presented are unclear and not entirely comprehensive. Work on clearly articulating your points and ensuring that they contribute to the overall argument. Aim for clarity and precision in your language to make your ideas comprehensible and compelling.
task achievement
Examples used are not always relevant or specific enough to the argument. For improvement, choose examples that are directly related to the topic and discuss them in detail, showing how they support your points. This will enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
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