Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?
There is a debate regarding whether unpaid
community
service programmes should be mandated for teenagers at schools. I agree to
Change preposition
with
this
argument as it would help develop their interpersonal skills and gain life expereinces
that are crucial for their adulthoods.
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
To begin
with, education should not be limited to strictly academic pursuits and one should also
get a chance to learn skills such
as teamwork, collaborations
and better Fix the agreement mistake
collaboration
communications
. To acquire those attributes, one of the best ways is through Fix the agreement mistake
communication
community
services
. Being part of Fix the agreement mistake
service
volunterring
programmes like assisting less fortunate people could provide them Correct your spelling
volunteering
valuable
learning Change preposition
with valuable
experience
by working with people from various backgrounds. Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
For example
, students may participate in awareness raising
events for vision-impaired people and by doing so, they would learn proper knowledge about Add a hyphen
awareness-raising
such
disability and how to create a safe and inclusive enviroment
within the Correct your spelling
environment
community
.
Top universities and companies are increasingly looking for those type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
expereince
in their potential candidates. Having participated in charitable works can set the applicants Correct your spelling
experience
from
their peers who have Rephrase
apart from
the
similar academic grades. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, consultancy companies such
as Deloitte and PwC receives
thousands of applications for Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
entry level
positions from Add a hyphen
entry-level
straight
-Correct your spelling
straight-A
A students
every year and those with well-rounded profiles stand a higher chance of being recruited. Correct article usage
Students
This
is because,
what you have done outside the classroom often differentiates you from any other person.
In conclusion, Remove the comma
apply
high-schoolers
should be Correct your spelling
high schoolers
giving
a chance to participate in Wrong verb form
given
community
work as part of their higher education programe
. It would not only help them learn different aspects of life skillsCorrect your spelling
programme
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
provide them to have better chances getting
into good tertiary education and job opportunities.Change preposition
of getting
Submitted by MS Tha on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear and distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay does meet this criterion fairly well, with a recognizable structure.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with examples that are directly related to the topic. The examples should be specific and effectively illustrate the main points being discussed. While you did include examples, they could be more detailed and tied closely to the thesis.
task achievement
Make sure your essay comprehensively addresses all parts of the task. Your response should cover all aspects of the prompt. You've addressed the question; however, the response could be rounded out with a counter-argument to strengthen the discussion.
task achievement
Present clear, comprehensive ideas that directly address the essay task. Your ideas were relevant, but at times, they could be more fully expanded with more comprehensive explanations and specific, detailed examples, enhancing the task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to showcase language proficiency. This will make your essay more engaging and will demonstrate language control.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite