IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The table below shows the percentage of mobile phones owners using various mobile features.

The table below shows the percentage of mobile phones owners using various mobile features.
#percentage #phones #owners #features
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the
tabe
Correct your spelling
table
 gives us information about different
features
Use synonyms
 of using
Use synonyms
Add an article
the phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 by owners in 2006,2007 and 2010 .
overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that the percentage of using
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 for making
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 was really higher
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than other
features
Use synonyms
 ,
also
Linking Words
 people have used their
phone
Use synonyms
 for recording at the lowest levels. regards to some
features
Use synonyms
 of using call ,
such
Linking Words
 as
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a call,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a photos
Correct the article-noun agreement
a photo
photos
show examples
send
Wrong verb form
and sending
show examples
 and
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 emails , individuals in 2001 until 2010 they have used their
phone
Use synonyms
 for calling by %100 with a little exception in 2010 which was not really
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big change .
this
Linking Words
 rate for
takeing
Correct your spelling
taking
photo
Fix the agreement mistake
photos
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to %66 in 2008 ,even though
this
Linking Words
 number
was steadily rise
Change the verb form
steadily rose
show examples
after
Correct article usage
the nexe
show examples
nexe
Correct your spelling
next
 two years to %76 .
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
were interested
to send
Change preposition
in sending
show examples
Add an article
an email
the email
show examples
email
Fix the agreement mistake
emails
show examples
below %80 and over %70 which was similar
whith
Correct your spelling
with
taking photos .
additionally
Linking Words
 ,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
features
Use synonyms
 namely
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 games ,
search
Wrong verb form
searching
show examples
 the internet and
play
Replace the word
playing
show examples
 music
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 under %50 . refers to one of the
features
Use synonyms
 that people used at the lowest level which was called recording video. that in 2006 lack of data after that the percentage of making
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
 by
phone
Use synonyms
 jumped gradually in 2007
however
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 numbers were
dramatic
Add an article
the dramatic
a dramatic
show examples
 rise in 2007 by %35
Submitted by dler_shakar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words features, phone with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: