In morden times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this changed occurred. Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Nowadays, the younger generations are hung out with friends more than
paernts
Correct your spelling
parents
.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
point to the young adults.
This
essay will discuss some points of why has
this
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
and
also
should Mom and Dad
compelled
Wrong verb form
should compel
show examples
them to stay in
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
more often. To
beggine
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begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend a lot of
time
to
scocial
Correct your spelling
social
with
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of people compared to
early
Correct article usage
the early
show examples
days.
For instance
, online games,
stree
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street
dance,
ride
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riding
show examples
motorcycle
Correct article usage
a motorcycle
show examples
traveling
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travelling
show examples
or
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to pubs. Outdoor events and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
are getting popular, the society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
much attractive to people more than
last
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the last
show examples
generation.
However
,
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
heaps
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
together with
friends
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
normal for the younger age. Some senior thinks should
froce
Correct your spelling
force
childern
Correct your spelling
children
stay at home and spend more
time
with close family.
This
idea might get a big
drame
Correct your spelling
deal
with family members
speaially
Correct your spelling
especially
specially
with young people.
Firstly
, they feel trapped, in that case, the relationship gap between parents and children will
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
worse.
Secondly
, when they feel like they have been forced, they will show their rejection more than usual.
As a result
,
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
should have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality
time
together
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
Add a missing verb
be force
show examples
force
Replace the word
forced
show examples
to be together. In conclusion, younger ags have more
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
than
old
Fix the agreement mistake
the older
show examples
generatiom
Correct your spelling
generation
generations
,
instead
to force
Change preposition
of forcing
show examples
children to stay at home I think it will be
mush
Correct your spelling
much
show examples
better to spend quality
time
when they are home.
Submitted by kimi080810 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that you are using cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas both within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly address the task prompt, with the introduction setting the stage for what is to be discussed, and the conclusion effectively summarizing the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Work on supporting your main points with specific examples and clear explanations. Each point you raise should be thoroughly elaborated upon to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Address all parts of the tasks. Make sure you answer both why the change has happened and whether parents should force children to spend time at home. Provide a balanced discussion on both aspects of the question.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by organizing them into clear, identifiable paragraphs and sentences. Try to maintain a logical flow in your argumentation without digressing from the central topic.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to illustrate your points. These examples should be clearly linked to the main topic and should support your arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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