The charts below give information about children under 18learjing musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016.

The charts below give information about children under 18learjing musical instruments in one region of the UK in 1996 and 2016.
The pie charts show information about the proportion of
children
learning to play a musical
instrument
in the years 1996 and 2016,
while
the accompanying bar chart demonstrates
children
's choice of musical
instruments
in the same years. More than half of the
children
surveyed (56%) were not involved in learning to play a musical
instrument
in 1996.
This
figure,
however
, had more than halved by 2016 thanks to a growing interest in
this
activity, with the percentage of those attending music lessons accounting for a hefty 76% of the total. As far as the
instrument
choice is concerned, in four out of seven categories, the proportions declined. Piano, being opted for by the largest percentage of
children
in 1996, at 30%, saw a 5% decline after two decades.
While
the figures for violin and acoustic guitar categories fell by around 4% to just under 15 and around 2 per cent, the 'other'
instruments
' decrease in percentage was minimal: only by 1% to reach roughly 2.5%. The remaining
instruments
in question,
by contrast
, showed different patterns of change. Keyboard, after an 8% growth, reached dominance in 2016 with 30%. Electric guitar was another category with a rise from about 13% to virtually 17%, but the proportion of
children
playing at least 1
instrument
remained constant, at more or less 12%.
Overall
, the pie charts make it clear that the interest in learning how to play a musical
instrument
grew substantially over the period, with the overwhelming majority of
children
being engaged in
this
in 2016. As regards the bar chart, piano and keyboard were the most popular
instruments
in 1996 and 2016 respectively,
in contrast
to 'other'
instruments
and the acoustic guitar.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, instrument, instruments with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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