Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
There
are
some ongoing debate Change the verb form
is
of
whether Change preposition
about
investment
in Add an article
an investment
the investment
arts
, including music and theatre constitutes as
a wasteful
fund allocation, as against administering resources towards essential public Change preposition
apply
services
. The question is, which weighs
more?
To some extent, some might argue that allocating the financial resources from the division of art towards public services
might be the solution towards the insufficient funds of
public needs, investment in Change preposition
for
arts
have
its benefits. Not only does
it Change the verb form
has
spread
awareness of cultural heritage in Wrong verb form
spreads
this
era of globalization, but it also
encourages the growth of creativity.
This
will overall
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
well being
of Add a hyphen
well-being
the
society. In respective, an act of cultural exchange will happen, Correct article usage
apply
this
results in extreme interest of
tourism that will directly affect one's economy. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, a
support Remove the article
apply
in
art boosts Change preposition
for
Correct article usage
the country
country
identity.
Change noun form
country's
While
the investment in arts
might spring Change preposition
apply
up
numerous benefits, it is undeniable that there are potential drawbacks to consider. As we know, the major problem revolves Change preposition
apply
arounf
Correct your spelling
around
misallocation
of Correct article usage
the misallocation
Add an article
the fund
fund
, basically where the Fix the agreement mistake
funds
goverments
could have Correct your spelling
government
governments
improve
the need Change the verb form
improved
of
funds Change preposition
for
such
as healthcare, education or insfrastructure
. Correct your spelling
infrastructure
This
could raise some misconception
where the government seems to misplace their priorities regarding their Fix the agreement mistake
misconceptions
underfudned
public Correct your spelling
underfunded
services
.
To sum up
, the funding towards Correct article usage
the divison
divison
of Correct your spelling
division
arts
has a lot of positive impact towards the country and society. Although
, it is crucial for us to understand the downside and risk of Correct word choice
However
misallocation
of funds. It would be ideal to do a balanced approach on both Correct article usage
the misallocation
side
, so the importance of public Change to a plural noun
sides
services
are
not ignored.Change the verb form
is
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task achievement
The essay demonstrates an attempt to present both sides of the argument regarding government investment in the arts versus public services, but the development of ideas is limited. The candidate should expand on their ideas, providing more detailed explanations and explicitly stating their own opinion to fully address the question.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. Sentences and paragraphs appear fragmented, making the arguments hard to follow. The candidate should focus on organizing their arguments in a clear and logical order, ensuring that each paragraph has a central idea that is expanded upon with supporting details.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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