The bar chart the results of a survey, in which people in Europe and the USA were asked what they consider to be the most important factor in the success of a business.
The graph compares USA and European
people
’s surveys’
results in which they are asked Change noun form
surveys
the
most valuable Change preposition
about the
business
factor
to succeed.
Overall
, both
countries Change preposition
in both
people
considered Political
situation less important, Correct article usage
the Political
while
business
management was the main important factor
both in the USA and Europe.
Regarding Political
situation, less than 20% of the USA Correct article usage
the Political
people
surveyed
. Add a missing verb
were surveyed
However
Add a comma
However,
this
numbers almost doubled in Europe. External factors showed Correct determiner usage
these
the
similar patterns in all countries, marking about 6%. Americans thought that the personality of the character was the main Correct article usage
apply
factor
in business
success, although
this
factor
was
almost decreased.
Verb problem
has
However
, as for Natural economy, European people
surveyed more than Americans, 20% and about 12%, respectively. Finally
, business
management thought
the most important core skill in both countries, surveying just under 40% Add a missing verb
is thought
people
.Change preposition
of people
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Introduction & Conclusion
It is imperative that your essay has a clear introduction that sets the context for the reader. The introduction of your current essay could have been clearer with a more detailed explanation of the survey, the respondents, and what the business factors were. Similarly, the essay lacks a clear conclusion that summarizes the findings or provides a final viewpoint based on the presented data.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Utilize a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as conjunctions, referencing words, and synonyms, to link ideas within and across sentences.
Supported Main Points
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that you provide enough detail to support it. Examples and explanations could be more specific to the given data, such as by giving precise percentages and illustrating trends or differences with direct reference to the bar chart.
Complete Response
Ensure that you provide a complete response to the prompt by thoroughly covering all aspects of the task. This includes comparing the importance of each business factor according to the respondents from both geographical areas. Additionally, be clear and comprehensive in your ideas by expanding on them and providing deeper analysis or commentary.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Offer a clear understanding of ideas by delineating each point, and provide more precise information when citing figures or outcomes from the survey. Your essay should make comparative statements with specific data to strengthen the analysis.
Relevant and Specific Examples
Enhance your response by incorporating more relevant examples or data from the bar chart. Be specific and precise to demonstrate a full understanding of the survey's findings. This can be done by directly referring to data points and explaining their significance in the context of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.