Children today are told dependent on computer and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree.

#children #computer #entertainment #time #sports #games

encouraging

children

to spend more

time

outside engaging in physical

activities

sports

, and

games

is incredibly beneficial for their

overall

development.

While

computer and electronic

entertainment

can have their merits, the advantages of outdoor play are manifold and crucial for a child's growth.

Firstly

, outdoor

activities

foster physical well-being. Playing

sports

games

outdoors allows

children

to engage in physical exercise, promoting their fitness and health. Running, jumping, climbing, and playing various

sports

not only help in maintaining a healthy weight but

also

contribute to developing stronger muscles and bones.

Moreover

, outdoor play encourages social interaction. When

children

engage in team

sports

or group

games

outside, they learn crucial social skills

such

as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. They develop the ability to cooperate with others, negotiate rules, and resolve conflicts, essential skills that translate into various aspects of their lives.

Additionally

, outdoor play encourages creativity and imagination. Unlike structured electronic

entertainment

, outdoor

activities

often involve using the environment creatively.

Children

invent

games

, build forts, and explore their surroundings, stimulating their imaginative thinking and problem-solving abilities. Spending

time

outside

also

connects

children

with nature, fostering an appreciation for the environment.

This

connection helps

develop

Correct pronoun usage

them develop

show examples

a sense of responsibility and care for the world around them. It

instills

Change the spelling

instils

show examples

values of conservation and environmental stewardship, which are crucial in today's world.

Furthermore

, outdoor play provides a much-needed break from the sedentary lifestyle often associated with excessive screen

time

. It allows

children

to disconnect from technology, reducing stress and improving their mental well-being. The fresh air and exposure to sunlight

also

contribute to better mood and

overall

mental health.

While

electronic

entertainment

can offer educational value and

entertainment

, finding a balance is crucial. Encouraging

children

to have a healthy mix of both indoor and outdoor

activities

is ideal.

However

, prioritizing outdoor play allows them to develop physically, socially, and mentally in ways that electronic

entertainment

cannot replicate. In conclusion,

while

technology has its place in

children

's lives, prioritizing outdoor

activities

and

sports

is undeniably advantageous. Encouraging

children

to spend more

time

outside fosters physical health, social skills, creativity, environmental awareness, and

overall

well-being. It's essential to strike a balance and encourage

children

to explore the joys and benefits of outdoor play.

Submitted by igbalalfariezy on Wed Nov 22 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

367 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children today are told dependent on computer and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

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Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development, but some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging.