In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#countries #children #rules #behaviour

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There are controversial opinions on raising

children

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around the globe. In the Western part of the

world

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world,

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children

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are permitted to do anything they want,

while

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in Eastern countries they experience a lot of limitations. In my opinion, offspring should have

freedon

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freedom

in their actions. One of the benefits of setting strict rules for

children

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is that they are learning how

behave

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to behave

show examples

politily

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politely

in society. It means that once

children

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enter the community of people they are likely to communicate with them properly.

For instance

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, the recent scientific research in

kindergardens

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kindergartens

kindergarten

reveals the data, that

children

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, who have

sctrict

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strict

parents are well-behaved,

while

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others are very rebellious.

Moreover

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, families, where

children

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are limited in their actions

has

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have

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low

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a low

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possibility of facing a kidnapping issue.

In other words

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, the overprotection of their offspring can literally save their

lifes

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lives

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in case of danger.

For instance

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children

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, who are obligated to call their parents every 2 hours won't be an easy target for criminal people. Despite the positive aspects mentioned above, there are many drawbacks

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such

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restrictions.

Firstly

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children

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, who are overprotected by their relatives tend to grow less independent and responsible.

This

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means that they will not be able to handle any difficulties related to their study, communication with peers, preparing homework

ect

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etc

. In Finland,

for instance

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, school students spend most of

the

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their

show examples

time on their own, and their grades are

significatly

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significantly

high.

Secondly

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, giving more freedom would

ecourange

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encourage

children

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's critical thinking.

This

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aspect is beneficial nowadays.

To sum up

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, balancing both strict rules and

freedon

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freedom

is essential for holistic development. It provides a range of

apportunities

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opportunities

for kids in the future.

Submitted by t-staro on Wed Nov 22 2023

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Logical Structure

Ensure logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. The argument at times appears disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow.

Introduction & Conclusion

Include both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay. The conclusion provided is not a clear summary of the essay's main points.

Supporting Main Points

Avoid general statements and strive to provide specific examples to support main points for a more effective argument.

Complete Response

Address the question directly and make sure to cover all aspects of the prompt throughout the essay.

Clear & Comprehensive Ideas

Clarify and expound on your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and easy to understand, avoiding ambiguity.

Relevant & Specific Examples

Integrate examples that are specific and relevant to the argument in order to enhance its strength and persuasiveness.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

upbringing
discipline
autonomy
safety
responsibility
creativity
critical thinking
independence
boundaries
rebellion
holistic development
structure
nurturing environment
behavioral expectations
social norms
authority
decision-making skills
consequences
respect

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