IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

to solve the problem of traffic congestion govt should provide free oubkic transport 24*7. to what extent do you agree

#traffic #congestion #govt #oubkic #transport
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Traffic
congestion
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 is one of the ongoing concerns among the public. Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the most prominent way to address the ongoing traffic issues is to provide
people
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 access to any time free public
transport
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 facilities.
while
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 I agree with
this
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 statement, I believe that there are other methods which would be efficient in terms of controlling the
congestion
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 problems.
This
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 essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, the public
transport
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 system offers immense benefits to everyone.
Firstly
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, it reduces
congestion
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 on the roads and makes travel more efficient and faster for
people
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 , especially during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peak hours.
In addition
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, providing
such
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 no-cost service encourages
people
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 to use
this
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 mode of
transport
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 as it is more affordable than owning and maintaining their personal vehicles.
For example
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, it is evident that the reduction of cars on the roads reduces air pollution as there are fewer carbon emissions to the atmosphere.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 from all backgrounds could utilise the
transport
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 regardless of their economic backgrounds and financial status.
On the other hand
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,
congestion
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 could be reduced by changing our working methods and timings.
In other words
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, roadblocks are mostly during office hours, so workers can change their working habits by adapting to remote support as it is more convenient
due to
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 the advent of technology.
Moreover
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, employers would change their employee schedules and introduce flexible timings which would reduce the travelling need at peak hours.
For instance
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, in Canada, IT companies introduced remote working options which have significantly reduced the traffic issues in main cities.
To conclude
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,
while
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that introducing free public
transport
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 has immense benefits in terms of accessibility and affordability, I believe that it could
also
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 be reduced by changing our working habits.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should take necessary steps to prioritise the use of technology to combat heavy
traffics
Correct subject-verb agreement
traffic
show examples
 and roadblocks.
Submitted by jeeanay on

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task achievement
Ensure that main ideas are clearly presented and fully developed. Your examples should be specific and directly related to the argument presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay needs a more logical progression of ideas. Use cohesive devices effectively to help with the flow of information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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