Some people think that goverment should focus the spending only on public services, and they claim that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Traffic and housing issues in major nations can be solved by getting
about
large Change preposition
apply
companies
and factories and their employees to the rural area
.In my opinion,I certainly disagree with Fix the agreement mistake
areas
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
according to
the following the
reasons which are rural rights and Correct article usage
apply
unempolyed
will be increased.
Correct your spelling
unemployed
Firstly
, people who live in countryside
will lose their rights.To Correct article usage
the countryside
but
it simply, when the Correct your spelling
put
government
move
all the companies
to the countryside
will be harmed by the traffic jam of the companies
.One clear example, if the companies
move
forward to countryside
,they may phase some issues as the environment and most Add an article
the countryside
of
farmers will be harmed by Change preposition
apply
air
pollution of Correct article usage
the air
truck’s
Change noun form
truck
companies
.Hence
, The government
should not move
their companies
to them because countryside
is known, it doesn’t have enough space to afford them ,Add an article
the countryside
consequently
that will be unfair to them.
Add a comma
consequently,
Secondly
, unemployed
will be increased significantly. To Replace the word
unemployment
illstrate
, Correct your spelling
illustrate
some
Change preposition
in some
of
Change preposition
apply
countries
,if they Add an article
the countries
move
their companies
with employees,the govremment
might face Correct your spelling
government
increase
Add an article
an increase
to
the number of unemployed because some of them can not get Change preposition
in
along with
the new style life
Change preposition
of life
for
the rural area. Change preposition
in
as
a result, if the Capitalize word
As
government
moved their employess
to The Correct your spelling
employees
countryside
, They could have seen companies
loose
and the number of Replace the word
lose
looses
will Correct your spelling
losses
be yield
to them in Change the verb form
yield
terrible
way.
In conclusion, I certainly disagree with Change the article
a terrible
this
statement do you to rural rights and unemployed will increase. if the government
moved if the government
moved their companies
and employees, they would get
a problem and maybe they could not find a solution for it.Verb problem
encounter
Submitted by s_syedy on
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Task Achievement
Task Response: Your essay addresses the prompt to some extent, but it needs a more direct and clear stance on the issue. The introduction does not clearly state your position which leads to confusion. Remember to restate your opinion in the conclusion for clarity and impact. To improve, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence stating the main idea and that you expand on this idea with relevant explanations or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. The use of linking words is limited, and paragraph structure needs improvement to make the argument more coherent. To enhance your score, focus on better paragraphing with clear and logical transitions between ideas. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs together more effectively.
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