Some people think that goverment should focus the spending only on public services, and they claim that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Traffic and housing issues in major nations can be solved by getting
about
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apply
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large
companies
and factories and their employees to the rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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.In my opinion,I certainly disagree with
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
according to
the following
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reasons which are rural rights and
unempolyed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
will be increased.
Firstly
, people who live in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
will lose their rights.To
but
Correct your spelling
put
show examples
it simply, when the
government
move
all the
companies
to the
countryside
will be harmed by the traffic jam of the
companies
.One clear example, if the
companies
move
forward to
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
,they may phase some issues as the environment and most
of
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apply
show examples
farmers will be harmed by
air
Correct article usage
the air
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pollution of
truck’s
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truck
show examples
companies
.
Hence
, The
government
should not
move
their
companies
to them because
countryside
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the countryside
show examples
is known, it doesn’t have enough space to afford them ,
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
that will be unfair to them.
Secondly
,
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
show examples
will be increased significantly. To
illstrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
,
some
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in some
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
countries
Add an article
the countries
show examples
,if they
move
their
companies
with employees,the
govremment
Correct your spelling
government
might face
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
to
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in
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the number of unemployed because some of them can not get
along with
the new style
life
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of life
show examples
for
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in
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the rural area.
as
Capitalize word
As
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a result, if the
government
moved their
employess
Correct your spelling
employees
to The
countryside
, They could have seen
companies
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
and the number of
looses
Correct your spelling
losses
show examples
will
be yield
Change the verb form
yield
show examples
to them in
terrible
Change the article
a terrible
show examples
way. In conclusion, I certainly disagree with
this
statement do you to rural rights and unemployed will increase. if the
government
moved if the
government
moved their
companies
and employees, they would
get
Verb problem
encounter
show examples
a problem and maybe they could not find a solution for it.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Task Achievement
Task Response: Your essay addresses the prompt to some extent, but it needs a more direct and clear stance on the issue. The introduction does not clearly state your position which leads to confusion. Remember to restate your opinion in the conclusion for clarity and impact. To improve, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence stating the main idea and that you expand on this idea with relevant explanations or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay lacks a clear and logical progression of ideas. The use of linking words is limited, and paragraph structure needs improvement to make the argument more coherent. To enhance your score, focus on better paragraphing with clear and logical transitions between ideas. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs together more effectively.
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