Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Urban
cities
mostly
filled with buildings and houses. Some Add a missing verb
are mostly
people
argue that,
public grounds can Remove the comma
apply
use
for Wrong verb form
be used
build
apartments and office spaces as a solution for Change the verb form
building
over populations
. I oppose Correct your spelling
overpopulation
this
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
due to
many practical reasons. In this
essay, I explore both sides and give facts for
support my idea.
Mainly, common parks provide a place Change preposition
to
to
Change preposition
for
people
to relax and do their physical activites
. Correct your spelling
activities
activity
Specially
, kids who are living in the city areas do not have sufficient places for play Rephrase
In particular
due to
most kids live in the
apartments, apartment buildings do not contain Correct article usage
apply
private
garden for each house. , so, public parks are the main place for them to play and relax. Correct article usage
a private
Moreover
, public park provide variuos benifits
, Correct your spelling
various benefits
it
helps to balance Correct pronoun usage
they
ecosystem
in the Add an article
the ecosystem
cities
, it provides home
for birds and insects Add an article
a home
while
trees and bushes provide oxygen to breath people
who living
in Wrong verb form
live
the
urban Correct article usage
apply
cities
. If urban cities
do not have common gardens
it will looks
like a concrete Change the verb form
look
dessert
.
Correct your spelling
desert
On the other hand
, some homeless people
and robbers use this
public Correct determiner usage
these
gardens
as their terratory
. Correct your spelling
territory
Moslty
homeless Correct your spelling
Mostly
people
sleep at the
night time in Correct article usage
apply
this
garden and it is not safe to visit garden
for Add an article
the garden
a garden
public
. Add an article
the public
As a result
of this
, authorities indirectly influence beggers
and Correct your spelling
beggars
robbers
Change noun form
robbers'
robber's
increasement
. Correct your spelling
increment
This
will thread for community
Add an article
the community
,
when the Remove the comma
apply
gardens
have used for building appartment
it will be useful for the city Correct your spelling
apartment
people
.
In conclusion, when consider
Change the verb form
considering
the
both pros and cons, there is no Remove the article
apply
such
a
argument Correct article usage
apply
againt
public Correct your spelling
against
gardens
. Specially
, for Replace the word
Especially
the
urban Correct article usage
apply
cities
common parks help to peurify
the detox air naturally and provide a place to spend their Correct your spelling
purify
lesiure
time.Correct your spelling
leisure
Submitted by Sa.inaka on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. While the introduction indicates a discussion will follow, your thesis statement needs to be clearer. Refrain from introducing the 'essay structure' itself as part of your argument (e.g., 'In this essay, I will...'). Instead, state your main argument and how you will support it.
coherence cohesion
For logical structure, aim for clear paragraphing with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, use cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed coherently.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, relevant explanations and examples. You should also ensure that all points made contribute to your overall argument and answer the question directly.
task achievement
Make sure your essay directly responds to the task throughout. Here, you should expand on the implications of losing public parks and provide more balanced consideration of the other side of the argument, addressing why someone might favor residential or business use of the space over parks.
task achievement
Present ideas comprehensively by fully exploring the potential benefits and disadvantages of the topic at hand. This includes a clear explanation of your position and the reasoning behind your disagreement with the argument. You could strengthen your position by presenting more detailed evidence or referencing broader social, economic or environmental implications.
task achievement
Use specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance your argument. While you mention ecosystems and the benefit to children and urban dwellers, you could include real-world case studies or statistics to substantiate your claims.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!