Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

#people #value #parks #space #purpose #areas #population #business #economics

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Urban

cities

Use synonyms

mostly

Add a missing verb

are mostly

show examples

filled with buildings and houses. Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

public grounds can

use

Wrong verb form

be used

show examples

for

build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

apartments and office spaces as a solution for

over populations

Correct your spelling

overpopulation

show examples

. I oppose

this

Linking Words

arguement

Correct your spelling

argument

due to

Linking Words

many practical reasons. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I explore both sides and give facts

for

Change preposition

show examples

support my idea. Mainly, common parks provide a place

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to relax and do their physical

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

Specially

Rephrase

In particular

show examples

, kids who are living in the city areas do not have sufficient places for play

due to

Linking Words

most kids live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

apartments, apartment buildings do not contain

private

Correct article usage

a private

show examples

garden for each house. , so, public parks are the main place for them to play and relax.

Moreover

Linking Words

, public park provide

variuos benifits

Correct your spelling

various benefits

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

helps to balance

ecosystem

Add an article

the ecosystem

show examples

in the

cities

Use synonyms

, it provides

home

Add an article

a home

show examples

for birds and insects

while

Linking Words

trees and bushes provide oxygen to breath

people

Use synonyms

who

living

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban

cities

Use synonyms

. If urban

cities

Use synonyms

do not have common

gardens

Use synonyms

it will

looks

Change the verb form

look

show examples

like a concrete

dessert

Correct your spelling

desert

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some homeless

people

Use synonyms

and robbers use

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

public

gardens

Use synonyms

as their

terratory

Correct your spelling

territory

Moslty

Correct your spelling

Mostly

homeless

people

Use synonyms

sleep at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

night time in

this

Linking Words

garden and it is not safe to visit

garden

Add an article

the garden

a garden

show examples

for

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, authorities indirectly influence

beggers

Correct your spelling

beggars

show examples

and

robbers

Change noun form

robbers'

robber's

show examples

increasement

Correct your spelling

increment

This

Linking Words

will thread for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when the

gardens

Use synonyms

have used for building

appartment

Correct your spelling

apartment

it will be useful for the city

people

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, when

consider

Change the verb form

considering

show examples

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

both pros and cons, there is no

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

argument

againt

Correct your spelling

against

public

gardens

Use synonyms

Specially

Replace the word

Especially

show examples

, for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban

cities

Use synonyms

common parks help to

peurify

Correct your spelling

purify

the detox air naturally and provide a place to spend their

lesiure

Correct your spelling

leisure

time.

Submitted by Sa.inaka on Thu Nov 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. While the introduction indicates a discussion will follow, your thesis statement needs to be clearer. Refrain from introducing the 'essay structure' itself as part of your argument (e.g., 'In this essay, I will...'). Instead, state your main argument and how you will support it.

coherence cohesion

For logical structure, aim for clear paragraphing with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, use cohesive devices to link sentences and ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed coherently.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with clear, relevant explanations and examples. You should also ensure that all points made contribute to your overall argument and answer the question directly.

task achievement

Make sure your essay directly responds to the task throughout. Here, you should expand on the implications of losing public parks and provide more balanced consideration of the other side of the argument, addressing why someone might favor residential or business use of the space over parks.

task achievement

Present ideas comprehensively by fully exploring the potential benefits and disadvantages of the topic at hand. This includes a clear explanation of your position and the reasoning behind your disagreement with the argument. You could strengthen your position by presenting more detailed evidence or referencing broader social, economic or environmental implications.

task achievement

Use specific examples to illustrate your points and enhance your argument. While you mention ecosystems and the benefit to children and urban dwellers, you could include real-world case studies or statistics to substantiate your claims.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people think that universities studentsshould specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discus both views and give your opinion.
People accept differences of one another.
4.5
band
Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There are two controversial perspectives heading a debate over who should be the responsibility of minimizing packaging of goods. While some claim that manufacturers and supermarkets should put effort to decline the packaging of goods. The others make a statement that it is important for clients to limit the number of items with various packaging. While each has its own merit I consider it is optimal to combine both mentioned ideas
5
band
Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
There is no doubt, that many former prisoners break the law after them are being release. This essay will explore reasons of this trend as well as elaborate the mesures which could tackle with this problem.
4.5
band
Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?
Science and tehcnology is the mainstones of modern societies. They are bitterly important for development and civilization. However, art is at least as important as science and technology.
<4
band
Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Other like their lives to stay the same and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life and explain your perferance.
Some people try to often change their work and living place, by contrast other consider it is risk alter frequently. Personally, I agree with former statement. In this essay I will explain my viewpoint.

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that universities studentsshould specialise in a particular subject while others believe that they should study a range of subjects. Discus both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Scientist and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Some people enjoy change and they look forward to new experiences. Other like their lives to stay the same and they do not change their usual habits. Compare these two approaches to life and explain your perferance.