IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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Most
students
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 are pursuing to level up their
capabilities
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 by taking out of main
subjects
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 in the
university
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.
On the other hand
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, people believe
that is
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 important for pupils to focus on their time on the main
subjects
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 in the
university
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 as a qualification before getting a
graduate
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 degree. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views about student fulfilling their
capabilities
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 outside of the main
subject
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 and the importance of learning mandatory
subjects
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 in the
university
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.
Students
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 need to study another
subject
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 on top of the campus mandatory
subjects
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. It is because to level up their
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 out of the main
subject
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.
Moreover
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, other
capabilities
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such
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 as
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 are important to face before entering the
workplace
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.
For example
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, learning about soft
skills
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 like presentation or interviewing that might not be provided by the
university
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.
On the other hand
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, those
capabilities
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 are important for
graduate
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students
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 before facing the
workplace
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.
Furthermore
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, the
graduate
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students
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 from the
university
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 already have
capabilities
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skills
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, and
knowledge
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 from the
university
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.
Nevertheless
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, there are
also
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 requirements for
students
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 those
capabilities
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 outside of the main
subject
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.
First,
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they must already pass the mandatory
subject
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 in the
university
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.
Due to
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 the
university
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 having a minimum requirement,
students
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 who pass a specific
subject
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 before they get a
graduate
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 degree.
Second,
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students
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 who are allowed to learn other
subjects
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 might be for them already in the final student.
Last
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, but not least, that
skills
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 and
knowledge
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 in the field of the
workplace
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 are based on
university
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 programs. Specifically, the mandatory
subject
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 is provided by the
university
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along with
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 their study in the
university
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.
This
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knowledge
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 and
skills
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 will assist them in solving
workplace
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 problems
further
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. In summary,
students
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 who learn
subjects
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 outside of the main
subjects
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 might be allowed to level up their
skills
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such
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 as soft
skills
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 before facing the field
workplace
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.
Furthermore
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, universities have mandatory
subjects
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 that must
pass
Wrong verb form
be passed
show examples
 by all
students
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 which is important for requirements before taking a
graduate
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 degree.
Submitted by haloalwan on

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coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is good, but the organization within the main body paragraphs is difficult to follow. There are several logical jumps and the overall flow is disrupted by unclear sentence structures. Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better signal what the paragraph will discuss. Use transition words to smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task only partially by discussing the importance of studying main and additional subjects for university students. However, it does not fully explore the given viewpoints or provide a clear personal opinion, which is critical for this type of essay request. Develop your ideas more fully, consider both sides of the argument equally and clearly state your own viewpoint. Provide specific examples to support your points and clarify why you hold your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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