IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.

The charts below show the average temperatures in 12 months in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.
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The diagrams illustrate the average temperatures in every month of
year
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the year
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 in three cities and how many hours of sunshine these cities have in a year.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is very noticeable that New York has
very
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a very
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 big amount of hours of sunshine,
during
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while
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 London has half of
Sydneys's
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Sydney's
 time. As we can see, for cities except Sydney summer
monthes
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months
 gave them
such
Linking Words
 a huge advantage and increased their time to the peak at 30
hour
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hours
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.
As well as
Linking Words
 London which has
an
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a
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 gradual increase from January to Juli and
similarli
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similarly
 has a decrease from August to December. It is undeniable that Sydeney's pagodas
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are wierd
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wierd
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weird
 to compare others, as their process
exactly
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is exactly
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 oppositely. In conclusion,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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