The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

#bar #amount #time #leisure #activities #men #women #town

The bar chart indicates how much

time

men and women spent on numerous pastime activities in a town in 2019. Generally, it is clearly seen that the most preferred holiday activity was reading

books

by Chinese

tourists

however

, they did not tend to visit

places

for recreation.

To begin

with, the number of

hours

spent on visiting

places

by Chinese

tourists

accounted for just one

while

time

spent reading

books

reached a peak of 8

hours

in 2019. Regarding visiting the

beach

as a leisure activity in a town, it comprised 3

hours

during the year. With regards to the amount of

time

spent on reading

books

by American

tourists

was half of the total

hours

, and following, visiting

places

and spending

time

at the

beach

was 5

hours

and 3

hours

with the respective.

However

, Brazilian

tourists

were interested in visiting the

beach

and spent 6

hours

while

the number of

hours

spent on reading

books

and visiting

places

was half of the total

hours

and 2

hours

, respectively.

On the other hand

, Turkish

tourists

experienced modest

hours

by reading

books

for just 5

hours

, and other activities (at the

beach

, visiting

places

) accounted for 4

hours

and 3

hours

, respectively.

Submitted by yusifakhmad on Thu Nov 23 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, books, tourists, places, hours, beach with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

202 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The bar chart below illustrates the amount of time spent on various leisure activities by men and women in a given town in 2019.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You attended a meeting last week but you are not happy with the hotel which you stayed in. Write a letter to the organizer who hotel for you. In your letter, you should tell: (a) what the problems were (b) what you didn't like about the hotel (c) what do you want organizer to do.

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Developed countries should help poor nations . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. This is because parents spend much of their time at work not at home. Do you agree or disagree?