Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The ongoing debase about whether the university students is important to learn the additional
subject
beyond their major or give the fully attention to their primary subject
to boost their proffesion skills
is multifacted. In my opinion, It is crucial that the students learn the other subject
because the additional skills
provides them more opportunities to their career
in the future
.
On the one hand, some believe that a student
should solely focus on their main study because they should not waste the time on unecessary things or it would lower their qualification of their profession. For example
, a computer program student
who spend some time on sport courses could possibly get a lower score of the main subject
after a crucial exam. So some believe studying additional subject
is not a benefitial option.
On the other hand
, a student
who learn more subjects will have a better career
in the future
because most of modern employment require the cross-team communication skills
as their priority requriments.For example
, Microsofe had hired the computer program engineer who must to have experience of cross-disciplinary and a good communication skills
for the team work. As the result, learning additional subject
is important for a student
, expectially for a better career
in the future
.
In conclusion, While
some people think student
should only focus on their primary subject
for a qualification, learning additional skills
is more important to student
as they will possibily have a better career
in the future
.Submitted by bookcool5 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an attempt at a logical structure, but there are inconsistencies in maintaining a clear progression of ideas throughout the text. It's important to ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, with cohesive devices appropriately used to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present; however, they do not adequately introduce and summarize the main points of the essay. A more developed introduction should present the topic and a clear thesis statement, while the conclusion should restate the main argument and succinctly encapsulate the discussed points.
coherence cohesion
The main points are somewhat supported by explanations, but the arguments lack depth and specific examples. In future essays, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into each point, providing more detailed justifications and clearer, more pertinent examples to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
While a response to the task has been completed and both views have been discussed, the ideas lack clarity and full comprehension. Work on presenting each point in a clear, straightforward manner, ensuring that the reader can easily understand and follow the argument.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the task, but there is a significant need for more specific, relevant examples to support the discussion. Future essays should include a range of concrete examples to illustrate the points being made, making the argument more compelling and convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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