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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #university #graduates #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph depicts a comparison between female
graduates
Use synonyms
 and male
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
pass
Wrong verb form
passed
show examples
 from a
university
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 from 1992 until 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of female
graduates
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 significantly rose,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Males who graduated from
university
Use synonyms
 increased slightly in that period.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1992 until 1995 the number of
graduates
Use synonyms
 both female and male in The
University
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 rose
slight
Change the adjective
slightly
show examples
 from
bellow
Correct your spelling
below
show examples
 100,000
graduates
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 to over 100,000 for female
graduates
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 and for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 starting from 70,000
graduates
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 to just under 80,000
graduates
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.
However
Linking Words
, in the next
periode
Correct your spelling
period
 (around 1995 to 1999) the amount of
graduates
Use synonyms
 (female and male)
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 slightly by around 5,000 (female
graduates
Use synonyms
) and around 7,000 (male
graduates
Use synonyms
).
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2000 until 2006, the
mount
Correct your spelling
amount
show examples
 of female
graduates
Use synonyms
 from
university
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 rose dramatically from over 100,000 and reached a peak
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 under 150,000
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduates
show examples
 in 2006.
While
Linking Words
, The number of male
graduates
Use synonyms
unstable
Add a missing verb
was unstable
show examples
 between 1999
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 2001, Starting from 2002 until 2006, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of male
graduates
Use synonyms
remarkable
Change the word
remarkably
show examples
 rose by 17,000 male
graduates
Use synonyms
 and reached a peak in 2006.
Submitted by syah.lian.ju on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, university, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuate
  • notable
  • graduate numbers
  • gender disparity
  • rise
  • decline
  • peak
  • period
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • significant
  • overview
  • comparison
  • socio-economic
  • educational policies
  • cultural shifts
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